Politics (argh!) - has it affected your relationship?

[Bearski77]

Hi all, sorry to bring up politics, but I was interested to know how many of you are in total disagreement with a partner about politics, and how it is affecting your relationship? Me and DH are complete and utter opposite in our views (it wasn't like this when we got together, but it is now) and it's really hard to keep things civil when I think he's totally wrong and he thinks I'm totally wrong. I just try not to comment and keep out of the way when this stuff is on telly. The trouble is, I DO want to watch the discussions and debates etc, but can't because he winds me up with little comments and sounds etc...
Anything similar with you?

My husband and I agree on some things politically but not on others.

I do find myself feeling frustrated at times with his views, politics are so personal.

I just limit how much we talk about it and try to totally avoid it.

Can you not just watch the debates etc by yourself?

I'm lucky that DP and I are both pretty much the same, politics wise.
But even so we don't talk about it much anyway because it's a downer topic, especially recently.

We are the same. Can’t discuss it. We agree on some things but not others. It’s never been a big issue until now. We lived overseas for years so were never here for elections etc.

It’s pretty horrible really and I see him in a different light. Things aren’t great anyway and this isn’t helping.

I wouldn't be with someone who disagreed so completely with me on issues of fundamental values. Dh and I are pretty much in complete agreement. I can't really think of any political issue that we wouldn't agree on. That's why I married him, and not some of the other close-minded idiots I've dated in my life.

I honestly don't see how it could work and not cause strife, unless one of you is willing to change your beliefs. My mum and stepdad used to have quite different political views. Over the years, she's slowly become as narrow-minded and subconsciously racist and xenophobic as he is.

We haven’t discussed it. Discussed policies and parties in general but haven’t directly asked who he’s voting for. That’s his choice and none of my business.

See sometimes I think I'm overreacting, but I always keep it to myself and usually go upstairs and swear under my breath and think about it for ages, just driving myself mad! I won't argue in front of the kids, and they're always there so basically I don't get to have my say. I just can't understand why he is voting the way he is (Tory and Brexit) as it totally goes against what matters to my own family, and even in his family, he's the only Tory / Brexit voter, and they certainly don't rely on benefits or need social care etc. My brother has to pay bedroom tax and beg to keep his UC ffs! Why would dh support that??! Amongst all the problems in our relationship, I think maybe this is the worst one, because a lot of the time I just can't be in the same room as him, so where do you go from there? We always used to go to the polling station together with the kids (the kids enjoy it and think it's fun) but he's said this time he's going early morning, and me and the kids will go in the evening. . .

By the way, it's fair enough if you voted leave, I know people wanted change because of economic reasons etc, but this is not his reason. He has been taken in by Farage and his gang, and cannot see anything else, and it's in my face all the time, even though he knows how upset I am by the whole thing.

I think agreeing (broadly) on politics is really important. My husband and I met in a political context (he is a government special advisor, I was interning for a Minister during my uni summer holidays) but even so, I don’t think I could have married someone completely on the other side of the spectrum. Although we don’t disagree on much politically, we do have stronger feelings towards some things than others (I’m very GC, for example, and although he agrees with my views he wouldn’t argue as vehemently about it as I would - for me, the views of our local MP on women’s rights are more important to me than Brexit whereas for him Brexit trumps everything and anything else).

I recently split up with my FWB for exactly this reason.

I'm a lifelong labour voter, he's a lifelong Tory. He's privately educated, very rich, cultured, intelligent, but unable to see his own privilege as a rich, straight white man.

It got to the point where everytime I saw a WhatsApp notification and it said "FWB (Photo)" I was thinking oh god, what piece of shit meme has he sent me now slagging off Diane Abbott or Jeremy Corbyn.

I also suspect he shares overtly racist memes with his other friends and the only reason he didn't with me is because my son is mixed race.

I certainly couldn't have a romantic relationship with anyone who had views (and experiences) so diametrically opposed to my own. But it must be very difficult if you started off on the same page and then grew apart.

I could never, ever fuck a Tory - such a turn off

Ha! Don't worry, @Jiggles101, I'm not!!

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation See, his family are all the same as your FWB, educated, intelligent, wealthy etc, but they've got the compassion to see other people's needs and are all socialists. He uses the word 'socialist' as a criticism.
I think from the replies here that maybe I'm not overreacting at all. I've been told I'm the calmest most patient person around - maybe that's where I'm going wrong!!!!

There's no way I could be in a relationship with someone on the opposite side of the political spectrum. It's something that matters a lot to me, so I can't brush it aside. I understand how you can do that if politics is of no interest to you.

If a partner got on board with what the likes of NF is promoting then that would abhor me, quite frankly, and the relationship would be over.

I dated someone with very opposite political views and it was always an issue, even though in most ways we were similar.
My oh and me are polar opposites outwardly but out political views and views on a lot of issues etc are the same and I really enjoy talking politics with him because even where we disagree we can end up agreeing after chatting about oy.