Hi everyone really looking for some advice. I am 21 have an 18m old DS and am pregnant with DD. Been with my ex for 6 years. Recently he started a new job in a hotel spa place... and things went downhill from there really out the house from 8am til 10.30/11pm at night. Hes an aspiring bodybuilder so he trains after work. This was the beginning. He used to go to train at 6am but suddenly decided he diddnt want to as he wanted to eat 1st. So over the weeks it bwcame very hard on the relationship. I then found flirty post it notes in his bag on 2 occasions and it just set me off. Long story short he was messaging a spa therapist from his work. She said nobody at work knew he was a taken man as he told them all we split months ago. We decided last week to tey again i believed him that she was lying and just wanted to get back to normal. Fast forward last Thursday.. he came home and (dont judge) i checked his phone, this particular girl was BLOCKED. I thought great, he has been honest. We took our son to playgroup n had a really lovely day as a family. He was telling me he loves me etc. Then that night he was in the bath for 1 hr 30 mins and i was like...wtf? I had a gut feeling he was messaging this girl. So i asked him he furiously denied it. Ok so we went to bed. I checked his phone just to see if she was blocked and ... SHE WAS NOT BLOCKED ANYMORE. Youre all gonna think im mad but i messaged her on his phone pretending to be him and she diddnt believe so i sent a pic of him just the side of his head in the bath that he had on his phone already. Her reply "thats a long bath tonight "..... so i feel like i was right. He was messaging her in the bath earlier that night. I calmly confronted hi. He got everything n stormed out telling me im crazy she was not unblocked i am a liar etc... then just was so horrible to me. Diddnt speak until Sunday he picked up DS, waited in car did not say a word, dropped him of later stormed out without a word. He has cheated on me in the past hence my obvious trust issues. But he is just so not himself at the moment. A few months ago we were the happiest little family excited to have another baby on the way. Now its like hes on self destruct. I dont know what to do. I love and miss him so terribly. His mum said he thinks i dont love him anymore and that he absolutely does love me... i just dont know what to do. I havent texted or called as i feel i should give him space to miss us. What do you think would be best to do? I dont want to throw away 6 years, been through so much and we both do genuinely love eachother so much, but its like hes just on self destruct mode. He has no career no job now and is believing he will be a rich and famous bodybuilder and i just dont see it. But obviously i cant tell him that. I just support him. But i dont know!
Any advice for me is appreciated, i want this to work but feel he needs to wake up n see what he has lost because at the moment it seems he doesnt appreciate it. Do you think giving space will work? Xxx