Husband has left me with 2 young children

[berrygoround]

I discovered my husband was seeing another woman around 3 weeks ago after finding messages on his phone. That was 2 days after I’d miscarried our planned 3rd child. We have 2 other children who are both under school age.

He originally said he wanted to make it work, we should try counselling but I threw him out after discovering he was still seeing her.

He came round last night to discuss things and I asked him if he was sure he was doing the right thing (I did not beg) and he said yes he thinks so. I’m absolutely devastated, I did not see this coming in any way. We had a happy marriage until he met her.

It’s only been going on a few weeks and she just seems awful. She knew I was pregnant and she calls herself a ‘slut’ on her Facebook page. I can’t believe that he’s thrown a 15 year relationship away for that. He is, of course, sticking to the script that it’s not about her and he has been unhappy for a while.

I can’t eat (have lost a stone in weight), can’t sleep and am just not functioning. I have no idea how I will get through this.

So sorry you're going through this. Just a quick thing to say on antidepressants - it's totally normal to suffer side effects when you first take them, but these should die down. Also, changing the time of day you take them can help with the nausea x

I'm 5 months in, kids slightly older but sending you the best strong mumma vibes.
Get support from friends and family, eat what you can when you can. Even if you can only manage sugary drinks, it’s something.
It’s a horrible thing but concentrate in your bubble - you and the kids and closest family and friends who support you. He doesn’t get the privilege of being in your bubble or any of you your best character traits now. Grey rock him, keep things for him basic and only about the kids.
I would recommend seeing a solicitor sooner rather than later. Divorce on grounds of adultery means you need to act within 6 months of knowing.

You are going to be great again even if you don't feel like it now.

I promise you now, it will be the hardest time for a while and then one day you will wake up and that's it, back in the game, feeling great, your over it. And that moment he will come running back! They always do!!
So even though it's bloody hard right now, put on your big girl pants and brave every day as it comes. I can't wait to see your post when your ready saying you found someone who deserves your love and kindness.

But you wait, he/ will get bored and he will realise what he's lost!
And that's when you laugh and tell him to get out of your sight! Made your bed lye in it!!

Feel better soon

I am so, so sorry. He is such a stupid, inconsiderate man and the woman is awful posting about it on social media.

You will get through this. I know you wanted a third child but you will manage better with two, things happen for a reason.

I'm terribly sorry about your broken arm and hope it heals soon. Accept any help and support that is offered. Do look after yourself.

It's complete ok to be traumatised by having your world turned upside down. You can't unpack and live there but you can give yourself a break.

Eat little and often so you don't upset your tummy, soup if you can drink it or just drink some calories to keep yourself going.

You will be ok.