I want him to be hurt, is this mean?

[Tryingtobepositive2020]

So i left my emotionally abusive ex about a month ago after finally having the courage to stick up for myself! I did absolutely everything for him and tried everything to make it work when I should have left him way before I did. He cried and made promises but I stuck to my word and remained strong.
Since leaving him I have simply been focusing on myself and haven’t even look at another man. I have mostly been a lot happier.

However, this evening I have discovered he’s moving on chatting to loads of girls ect. I understand he is entitled to do so but I can’t help but feel so angry and I guess hurt about this! The first thing I thought was how dare he!!! I kinda want him to be hurt and upset about losing me. He hasn’t got much going for him loads of debt ect and other things I won’t go into and I just think who do you even think you are you should be crying over losing me, i was a good woman to your lame ass!!

Thanks for listening to my rant. Does/did anyone feel like this?

No, it's not mean, it's understandable but try not to give him too much headspace. You're the important one here. Look after yourself and focus on your needs and wants now.
Well done for leaving, good for you

Narcissists need supply.

He does feel your loss, just not in the way you or I would feel the loss of a partner.
He is an empty cup that needs to be seen by others in order to be filled. But his cup has a hole. So he has to keep the water flowing or he'll be sat there, realising how empty he is.

Rn he is probably angry at you for daring to cut off supply. And desperately seeking replacement.

But that isn't about you. Its all about him, what he lacks and will never have. Because he cannot self regulate his own sense of worth.

Be happy that you lost the leach. He's nothing but a black hole. And now you are free. He isn't worth your rage. Nor any more of your thoughts.

It is understandable.

He trained to you care about his feelings above all else. Here you are doing it again. It's all about him. Thinking about him all night. How does he feel. How can I change how he feels. Why doesn't he feel how he should feel. Blah blah blah. Him him him.

Detach.

He’s an arse. Feck him. Your more important. He’s just looking for a shag. Pathetic.

Feel better now OP?

Ps well done for leaving the arse.

You will be happy in due course.

Just think about that half a ton of dead weight millstone you've got rid of! He'll be someone else's problem now, not yours!Lucky you!

You can always count on MN to make you feel better! I only have a few people I can talk to in real life as I stopped socialising a lot when I was with him as I put my all into our relationship. Thank you for listening!

And anyone who is reading this who is in an emotionally abusive relationship, please please LEAVE THEM. Despite these feelings it was THE BEST thing I ever did. I guess this is all part or the process of getting over someone

Well said OP. I can tell you’re feeling better already

Yes it is part of the process and it's going to take time so go easy on yourself, try and rejuvenate the relationships that fell by the wayside while tried to make things better.
You go girl

Of course he's looking for a replacement. He's a loose.
Well done for moving on.
Continue focusing on yourself 👍.
💐

This happened with me. 12 days (if that) after kicking his sorry arse out, he was at it again.

Good riddance I say! Listen to 'best thing I never had' - that'll sort you out.

Well done OP you totally deserve better

you should be crying over losing me, i was a good woman to your lame ass!!

You need to redefine a good woman because enabling and excusing poor behaviour isn’t ‘good’.

Thank god he isn’t crying over you because if he was, you’d have taken him back!

If you read Why Does he Do That? His pathetic behaviour is text book and called triangulation. I'm fully expecting my STBXH to love bomb and impregnate some poor unfortunate soul. You've done the hard bit, don't keep checking up on him and make sure he's blocked.

You’re part of his conveyer belt.

You’ve had a lucky escape