When will I feel that I made the right choice?

[CheesecakeAddict]

Back story recap: left abusive husband after 11 year relationship, with one toddler, 8 months ago after he started throwing things at me in front of her and telling her "isn't mummy stupid?".

I've been through the angry stage. I've spent the last 8 months purely surviving, struggling to make ends meet and fighting 3 cases he put against me in court. I'm finally settled, with a new job and prospects to start rebuilding my life for me and my daughter. But today I saw him in the train station when I went to drop off my daughter. He was so sweet and nice. My heart is breaking all over again and I no longer feel as strong as I did before.

I know I did the right thing. I know it's the best thing for me and my daughter. But there is still a voice in my head telling me I overreacted, that I still love him, that I've done the wrong thing.

When will it start to feel right?

It will take time or it might not at all because these situations are complex. The bad things that drive people apart are often mixed with good things and that's why you may never feel 'done'. That doesn't mean that it wasn't the choice for you though.

It might never feel the right choice because you found the strength to leave before the abuse escalated. Try to think of it this way - better to feel like you are than to have stayed then 10 years down the line or whatever, you are a shell of yourself with a fucked up DD who goes on to marry an abusive man as that’s been her father figure. Well done you.

PS - this is not a judgement on women who are not able to leave abusive relationships early on - it’s a very complex process.

For me it always feels wrong until I am either in another better relationship and don’t give a rats ass about the first guy as the second guy is way better or have been single for two years.

You’ll get over him. You’ve defo done the right thing.