Am I dooming myself to being single forever?

[ChangChang]

Left an abusive relationship and moved in (temporarily) with my parents. Father died a few months later, very suddenly, leaving my disabled mum. Have been acting as my mum's carer since then, with my siblings each being in happy, settled marriages (with their own children, etc)
Mum wanted to move, so got house cleared, sorted and on the market. Sold quickly and decided that it made sense to buy a house together somewhere that mum could have access to local shops and closer to children's schools.
Had a conversation with my sister in law that has put my head in a spin. She says she would never commit to living with a parent, and didn't I want to meet someone else one day? Made me feel like no one will ever be interested with a live-in parent on the scene. My ex has no contact with the children (his choice) so I'm not exactly without baggage anyway - but am I doomed to be single forever in these circumstances?

Honestly I think this is a difficult situation and one that is becoming more common.

A female friend did something similar but in slightly different circumstances (moved in with both parents as one was a carer for the other, then the carer parent developed dementia). After a couple of years, the parent with dementia died and the other parent then had to go into a care home due to physical issues. She said to me that after the event she realised how isolated she had become and it had been hard for her in a way she didn't realise.

She was talking about social isolation from her friends rather than dating.

I think if you are living with a parent and caring for them you will need to be very regimented about planning time for yourself and getting out of the house if you can so you don't totally isolate yourself from your friends.

Dating will be similarly difficult. I think there are men who would be put off by the fact that a woman is living with a parent for a variety of reasons some bad character reasons some reasonable reasons. It doesn't mean you will be single for ever but I think you would be best advised to not lead with that information straight out the box.

You will really need to make sure you are looking after yourself generally though.

It says lots of lovely things about you that you are willing to do this and your mother is lucky to have you.

You are very kind and caring to want to look after your mum. Do make sure though that your siblings know that you will need support. You will need nights off perhaps help with shopping if you are injured or whatever. Help with taking mum to gp while you are at work during the day as it can’t always be your turn, they have to take turns too.

You can easily meet and date someone. You can stay at his house. Go away for the weekend. Have him round to yours for dinner but not overnight unless mum stays with sibling etc. Plenty opportunities to date. Don’t worry about marriage. That’s miles down the road. Just make sure the siblings are told they need to do their bit as you arent taking on the full burden of care yourself because it’s too much no matter how much you love her they need to visit regularly and help with things when required (like if you go away for the weekend etc).

Thanks both, that's really encouraging, and I feel quite tearful at your kind words. You both make perfect sense in that I will need to be regimented about things, but at least your ideas give me some hope! Thank you x

Early 50's here and soon to move in with my parents.
My poor dad can't cope on his own with my mum any more.
Easier if I'm there with them!
I intend to stay single so no problem for me at all.

Good luck to you, @hellsbellsmelons sounds like your parents are lucky to have you. Make sure you look after yourself as well, though x

@ChangChang thank you.
I will indeed.
Decision made yesterday to put my mum in a home so that should relieve some of the burden for my dad.
It's been a very tough couple of years.
But we get through it!