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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I stay or should I go?

20 replies

Notsomellownow · 08/12/2019 15:46

Relationship has been in difficulty for a while.
I still love my partner but it's very difficult to live with him and I see signs of controlling behaviour. We have two kids 3 and 6 and he is a fantastic and loving father. I love the time we spend together as a family when it's not ruined by his moods.
He smokes weed everyday
I have a very low libido which makes him feel unloved and rejected
I have a stressful job with long hours which he resents - he says its always all about me
I can be a bit self absorbed at times so have to take that on board
He kissed another woman at a party a few months ago and has chatted up several others in front of me. I know this is to provoke a reaction in me because he feels our sex life is inadequate
My best friend will no longer be in the same room as him because there have been a lot of jealousy issues from my partner about the friendship ( friend is a gay man) partner feels our close friendship is inappropriate and has pretty much ruined it
As i write all this the answer seems obvious but..
He is attending addiction counselling
He is a wonderful dad
He is a very loving and generous partner when things are going well..
Today he called me a 'stupid bitch' in an argument and I just lost it. I know I deserve better.
Its massively difficult and complicated to leave with out huge upheaval for the kids.
What would you do?

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 08/12/2019 15:49

Leave him, he's a knob
He's cheated on you

Notsomellownow · 08/12/2019 16:43

I would....if it wasn't for the kids. It makes me so sad and scared to think about how they'll process it all. We live in his family home and the kids go to school nearby. If we split I could never afford to rent nearby so would probably mean a change of school for kids. They're so happy and settled where they are Sad

OP posts:
Niki93 · 08/12/2019 16:52

Yep. He’s a bellend. The pro’s dont outweigh the cons here in my opinion. You can do better

I understand its hard eith kids involved, but it doesnt mean yous breaking up with stop his relationship with them does it? No person who loves you would call you a stupid bitch, try and flirt infront of you, kiss other women, guilt trip you for sex, smoke weed everyday or belittle you and your job which helps you provide for him and your children, or drive a wedge between you and your friendships. He has zero respect for you and is dragging you down. It sounds quite toxic and because you love him you’re making excuses for him (i dont mean that in a nasty way - we’ve all been there before where we see faults insomeone but make excuses because we dont want to believe it or accept its the end).

I think you deserve better. And your kids deserve a little better of a father whos going to actively show respect to their mother. I think this relationship has ran is tole and probably wont get better. I hope you see this and leave him. You can still co-parent which will be a difficult dynamic untill it gets used to. But, time to not settle any more!

X

Notsomellownow · 08/12/2019 17:04

I know you're right and am sobbing as i write this. I just feel so guilty about kids. And stupidly i still love him so it really hurts. Timing couldn't be better 2 weeks before Xmas 🙈

OP posts:
Niki93 · 08/12/2019 17:13

I really do feel for you. Break uos are never easy regardless of the circumstances. But with kids involved i can imagine the guilt to really take over. BUT, you also need to think of what will be better in the long run. For example, is it worth you just sticking it out for longer to make things easier for the kids while you remain miserable for thd duration and the children start to notice the tension/toxicity as it grows worse? Or, is it worth accepting now that it needs addressed, which yes will cause some discomfort and upset for kids short term, but long term they realise mammy and daddy are happier away from either other but still love them regardless?

Looking after yourself will massively benefit your kids in the long run, not to mention your own mental health and welbeing. You’ll always love him as the father of your children ofcourse, but you guys have out grown each other, and i do believe some short term misery in leaving him will lead to long term happiness and you will both eventually move on and know it was the right thing. Ive been in this position before (albeit at the time without kids) the lad i was with had the same traits as your partner and i loved him dearly but i knew he was just always going to make me ill with misery if i stayed. I left him and the unknown caused so much anxiety BUT fast forward 5 years, i met someone else absolutely amazing, we’ve bought a house and im now 18 weeks pregnant with our first child. Id of never been this happy if i didnt keave behind what i did. Your kids will grow up and realise why you did it. But also remember, children are alot more resilient than you think!

Have some faith, take control, be strong, believe in yourself and do what you feel is right! You’ve got this! Xx

Niki93 · 08/12/2019 17:15

Also timing is rubbish. You could both have a chat and decide to keep it quiet untill after Christmas for the kids sake then do what yous need to do going forward in the new year and develope a plan together to make it easy and smooth running in the interim for the kids to accept? Xx

Notsomellownow · 08/12/2019 17:22

Thanks so much Niki. Such a warm and supportive message. It really helps to hear from someone who's been there and is out the other side.
Congratulations!!!! So happy for you ❤

OP posts:
Purplewithred · 08/12/2019 17:29

He will always be their father and can carry on being a wonderful father if you split up. But it sounds as if you are both miserable in your relationship and your kids will be better off long term not to live in such an unhappy household.

I’ve been where you are and completely get that it’s a huge step needing a lot of courage. Flowers

Niki93 · 08/12/2019 17:51

@Notsomellownow You’re absolutely welcome. Im a firm believer in girls coming together in times of need for stuff like this. I really wish i had someone to speak sense into me at the time, if they did id of left hom sooner. Again i do appreciate having kids involved must make it massively daunting for you, but I genuinely do think closing this chapter with him will open a new one for you which so much more opportunity. Like the person above me has said, he will still always be their dad and be there for them, as will you. They both have a mam and dad who love them and they will know that. I know financially difficulty will be playing on your mind too, but if you make a plan in your head, maybe sit down and have a rational (probably very hard and emotional) chat with him, the two of you may be able to work it out together. If he happens to get nasty/name calling again then all the more reason to go ahead with separating if thats the case as hard as it is to hear. Financially there will be ways around it, so dont stay for the wrong reasons and leave for the right ones (is my advice but you go with your gut ofcourse) Thanks for the congratulations and i really do hope it all works in your favour! Be confident in what ever decision you make and im sure it will end up being the right one! Xx

AFairlyHardAvocadoHoHo · 08/12/2019 17:52

If he really is a wonderful father then he will put the kids first after the break up. It doesn't really sound like he is right now, calling their mum a stupid bitch and isolating her.

What would he do to a man who treated your daughter the way he treats you? He wouldn't fucking approve then would he?

I'm so sorry love you sound really sweet and you've given this your best shot, he's had more than enough chances.

If it was me and I knew 100% I wanted out then to be honest I might wait until Christmas was out of the way - as long as I knew I would stick to that decision. Only because it's such a tough time of the year to manage anyway.

And it gives you a bit of time to put a plan together. I wouldn't say this of course if he was violent etc - while his behaviour is absolutely abusive it would be safer maybe in this instance to get everything ready for yourself then leave when Christmas is done so you aren't guilt ridden about it when there is so much pressure already for it to be a great couple of weeks.

I may be totally wrong on that front but just trying to think what will be beneficial in the long term and what gives you time to plan your exit ThanksThanksThanks

AttilaTheMeerkat · 08/12/2019 17:53

What did you learn about relationships when you were growing up?. Did you see similar at home too?. Controlling behaviour is abusive behaviour and is all about power and control.

The fact that you even have to ask such a question re stay or go is worrying and shows me that your boundaries to date re him have been far too low to the point they are almost non existent. You know this is wrong though otherwise you would not have posted so there is hope for you and your kids. But you and he need to be apart now, you and he should not be together any longer. The longer you stay with him as well, the harder it could become for you to make the break.

You will ultimately have to ask yourself how and why you got to this low point in the first place and address those issues re your own self.

He is not a good father to his children if he treats you and in turn them with the utmost contempt. Women in poor relationships as well like this often write the "good dad" comment or versions of it when they themselves can think of nothing else positive to write about their man.

What do you want to teach your children about relationships and what are they learning here?. Do not continue to teach your children that a loveless relationship with controlling behaviour, cheating behaviour and or weed in it becomes their norm too.

Staying for the children in such circumstances is a particularly bad idea and never a good one in any event. The children are not glue and should not be used as the glue to bind you and he together. They are NOT going to say "thanks mum" to you for staying with him for really your own reasons (because its) somehow "easier" or "more familiar" to you. Staying because of them frankly is stupid and they will tell you as much as well and tell you too that you put him before them.

I am also wondering if you are confusing love here with codependency; you may well be codependent in relationships. His primary relationship is with weed, not you and not your kids either. You've certainly propped him up and or otherwise enabled him to date and its been to yours and your kids detriment. He will need far more than a mere short course of addiction counselling; he could well go back to weed as soon as the counselling finishes. If he has also done this at your behest then it is highly likely it will fail.

Do contact Womens Aid as well, they can assist you here also. Abuse like this can take a long time, years even, to recover from, and you people have more than suffered enough at his hands already.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 08/12/2019 17:56

What is the situation re the property and finances?. Is the property mortgaged or do you have a tenancy agreement in either joint or single name?. All this and more needs to be looked at by you now.

Longfacenow · 08/12/2019 17:58

I think lots of great advice already. Have you talked it over IRL?

I wonder, can you aim for the gap between christmas and NY? As kids are off and people can babysit whilst you get yourself sorted; might be easier than having to function as normal, when inside you'll be absolutely broken and sad (despite doing the right thing).

Notsomellownow · 08/12/2019 18:47

Yes co-dependency is definitely a feature. I see that. I had a pretty crappy relationship with my Dad and did 4 years of psychotherapy to work through my issues. I obviously needed more 🙈 I can't believe I fell into the same pattern of toxic relationship again. No sign of this behaviour until our second child arrived and the going got tough. His parents own the house we live in and I have no rights to the home. I went to a free legal advice clinic to check. I have a good salary but rent is sky high in my city. I own a house with my Dad (yes, the very same one - he kinda tricked me into that when I was younger) so will struggle to get a mortgage. Thanks for the support women - you're all amazing ❤

OP posts:
Niki93 · 08/12/2019 19:32

You could always put yourself on the council list? Where im from some council homes are lovely (they have that renowed bad stick but i dont believe in this) although im not sure if already having a joint mortgage with your dad could affect your option of social housing. You still have he choice of private rent but you are right, rent these days is extortionate.

Like someone else said, if he’s half the farther you say he is, then regardless of your relationship status to him, he should try and support you snd his children to have a roof over your heads, even if its seperate homes. Do you have any family/friends who have space to help you guys seperate after Christmas? Like put you up in their home for a while till you find a solution? Or would your partner be happy enough to leave the home for a short while untill you both devise a safe and financial stable?

There are options. Could be tough untill yous find the right one. But if yous can both sit down and think out a plan for seperating amicably then it could well work with a successful out come. Dont worry too much. I know its easier said than done but its a step by step process that needs thought out like any big decision.

Im also sorry to hear about the relationship with your dad. If its any consolation you sound like you’ve got your head screwed on and you’re pretty thoughtful of others feelings and not just your own which shows you have compassion and will do the right thing in the end x

Notsomellownow · 09/12/2019 07:49

Thanks everyone. Very restless night. Just heartbroken. It's the straw that broke the camel's back really. I can stay with my mum for 6 months/year while I get sorted. She's very supportive so I'm lucky there.
Probably won't leave the family home until the end of the school year so think I will move to the spare room and keep things as normal as possible for kids through xmas.
Just afraid he will start love bombing me and draw me back in again. Amazing what you learn on mumsnet. I didn't know that was a thing til I read it on another thread. Nor did I know about the 'good father' trope.
You're all so kind to offer words of insight and support. I really appreciate it.
Xxx

OP posts:
AttilaTheMeerkat · 09/12/2019 09:42

"Probably won't leave the family home until the end of the school year so think I will move to the spare room and keep things as normal as possible for kids through xmas".

I would urge you to go to your mum's with your children asap. Make the break sooner rather than later.

"Normal" in your house is not at all great and continuing to move the deckchairs around (i.e moving into the spare room and trying to keep things "normal" for them) will not help you or them in the long run either. They will notice that you are in the spare room and they already know that things are not good between you and dad in their house. Children are perceptive and do pick up on all the vibes both spoken and unspoken here.

You may also want to read "Codependent No More" written by Melodie Beattie as well as contacting coda-uk.com/ which is the UK website of Codependents Anonymous.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 09/12/2019 09:45

I would also approach the mortgage company re this joint mortgage you have with your dad to see if you can now be taken off it.

Notsomellownow · 09/12/2019 09:46

Thanks Atilla. Unfortunately my Mum's is not an option for kids school. I'll need to look at finding a new school for them before we can stay there. Appreciate what you're saying about moving the deckchairs around though - been doing that for a while. I've read the book :) Will look at the web resources you suggest. Thanks a million

OP posts:
AttilaTheMeerkat · 09/12/2019 10:01

Good luck to you and your children. I sincerely hope to read better news from you in future.

Do contact the LEA in question re the childrens schools.

My last piece of counsel for now would be to love your own self for a change.

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