Would you accept this from a male friend ?

[Crystalxox]

I don't see him that often but we speak on social media most days.
There have never been any feelings there on either side as far as I know, well he has never asked me out or said he likes me, excluding once when we were 14 years old (late 20s now), but I feel very at ease talking to him.

The other night I told him I was feeling lazy and just felt like staying in bed, and he drunkenly texted me, "I wish I were there too 😜".

A few weeks ago, I was wearing a dress for a night out and I said to him I felt self-conscious as it was a bit short, and he said "pics ? 😜😉". He also said once that my boobs really 'grabbed his attention' on pics.

We have actually fallen out over this in the past. He had just broken up with his ex and his ego was obviously a bit bruised. He was asking me questions like "Would you swipe right on Tinder for me ?" and commented "I would 😉" about me and said he had "stalked my pictures".

I found it really uncomfortable and we didnt speak for a couple of months. He apologised and I told him I knew he didn't have feelings for me, and it hurt that he was objectifying me in this manner, and he said I was a 'friend'.

So now I feel like he's creeping back into that mode. If he finds me attractive fair enough, but if he's being sleazy about it I see that as a lack of respect for myself.

Would you see this as harmless or something more ? Thanks

I think most males have thought about having sex with their female friends. One of my friends, who is very sociable, has had every single male friend of try it on with her, single and taken! These have been men she's only seen as friends. My ex has tried it on with all of his female friends, even has a wank bank of them on his laptop. 🤮

@YouJustDoYou has the right idea on where to meet male friends who won't try it on.

This is going to sound very pig-headed but this has happened to me a couple of times with male friends!

It doesn't sound pigheaded - it's just what a lot of men are like!

I'm 45 and I still get it!

And my married male friends are the worst. I don't get it from any of my single male friends.

It isn't because you're attractive. It is because you call sleazy acquaintances 'friends'.

The way to not end up with sleazy men as 'friends' is to raise the bar and not peg flirty banter as 'friends chatting', show no willingness to stay in contact with men who objectify you. Shouldn't be hard really as if you are assuming friendship, then no one wants friends like this.

This is precisely why I have never had a genuine male friend.

Work on your female friendships

He's not your friend.

Not many men can be genuine platonic friends with a woman, and he's def not one of them.

But I think you know that already.

No such thing as only a male friend from their side.

Women can see them as friends only as we tend to see people as humans and not just someone to have sex with.

It’s quite hard to have straight male friends as these kind of things are very common (in my experience). There’s a reason my male friends are either gay or straight and happily married/ in a relationship.
YANBU

Yes all my male Facebook friends are related to me or gay.

What a load of nonsense. If you have a pattern of male friends trying to have sex with you, you need to choose better friends, just as the advice would be if you had a pattern of female friends taking advantage of you for money or childcare or lifts.

I should also add, as a young person I had few boundaries and was always worried about upsetting someone or hurting their feelings and of course a part of me liked to be wanted and desired by lots of men.
Growing older I’ve learned more about myself and how a lot of men interact and more about my own worth.
I’m much quicker at shutting that shit down now, especially once I realise most of those types are trying their luck everywhere they can. It’s much less flattering when you realise they just want to get their dick wet and you’re no more important than the next woman