Met a guy 4 months ago. We have busy lives, live a distance away and he has 50% custody of a teenager. He has been in codependent relationships that he has said was unhealthy - said ex’s were crazy. I have told him that’s not my style and suffocation is a turn off to me. I am not too sure if I am overthinking things or is he selfish - causing his ex’s to pull him up, meaning to him they are crazy.
We see each other once a week, him doing most of the travelling. Normally after work, have dinner together, chat, watch tv and he stays over. On weekends he has no child care we try to see each other one day, me going to his.
He works and starting his own business. He ways texts to say how busy he is and then sends pictures of his orders. He warned me he is busy in December but said don’t worry will still make time for us.
However this weekend he has chosen to go out with friends. He then told me in the next few weeks he will be busy at weekends selling crafts at markets and his family is coming from abroad for Xmas, so will be spending time with them. But said Monday’s are our day, so let’s make sure we see each other.
I jokingly said we are rubbish at scheduling. He keeps mentioning that I went away for 2 weekends, and had an event planned so I am not that available when he was child free. Only 3 weekends out of 4 months. During those weekends he kept texting bored. I told him to go out with friends and he said no one free! Was not impressed by these texts.
His texts have reduced since Monday and only saying busy, how’s your day etc. However I didn’t answer one text and got texts a few hours apart asking ok, look what I made. Last night he went out and he texts at 4pm saying getting ready to go. I replied have a nice night. He has not read it or answered back. Normally he would.
I am now thinking that he is Losing interest or being selfish. At this moment I feel I am just a night filler, as in, he doesn’t think of me or want to spend time, just when bored. I spoke to him about it, and he said no, just busy, he likes me etc. I have reduced communication as need time to think. I think he knows this as his texts are being a bit more lovey, when he does reply. I do have to say we text each day and try to call a few times a week.
So is this a case of generally being busy in a new relationship and finding balance?Me having different expectations as I am used to seeing someone more, so texting and advanced scheduling was not really needed? Him showing selfish behaviour and feeling I see her once a week, so making effort? Or we are just not compatible? What do You think?