Do you think being on Mumsnet has effected how you handle situations, even when you didn't make a thread about them?

[Interestedwoman]

Since I started reading Mumsnet, I've learned so much intellectually about how to handle interpersonal drama etc. I live quite a quiet life and have kind of looked forward to a chance to put what I've read into practice and be more assertive etc.

Recently I had a kind of argument with my dad. I didn't mean to say anything but ended up telling him how I thought about some recent antics by my step mum. I was quite assertive with saying her shrieking fits and accusations weren't ok. This is out of character for our family, so IDK if it's partly to do with reading the boards, or over a year of therapy lol. Either way, it's taken a bit of adjusting to.

So, has reading Mumsnet effected you?

I really wish I'd been on Mumsnet back in the early 2000's when my DC were babies and I was living with an abusive ex. I think I would have realised a lot sooner that was happening was not ok.

I'm a hell of a lot more assertive now. Whether that's age, MN or a combination of the two I don't know.

On a (budget, cattle class), flight on Friday evening I found myself in a window seat surrounded by selfish manspreading bastards blokes. I am of small build and look younger than my years, so get this attitude from men A LOT.

Wanker #1 (directly behind me), had his shoes off and sweaty trotter ON MY ARMREST before we were airborne. No way was I going to put up with inhaling that for the next 3 hours. He looked completely stunned when I turned round and told him in no uncertain terms to move it because it stank. But move it he did.

Wanker #2 (next to me), then spread his knees wide apart (into my footwell), and tried to hog the armrest between us. I (politely but firmly), told him to stay in his own space and out of mine. He (also surprised at having his behaviour challenged), tried to 'jokingly' protest about there not being enough room in his space, but moved his bulk when I looked him dead in the eye and told him that wasn't my problem to solve.

God yes. I've been here for 17 years and I never realised how narrow minded or lacking in empathy I was till I came here.

Even today I'm surprised by people's different views on things as per MN threads.

Absolutely. I never thought there was such a thing as gut instinct but then it transpired my ex was having an affair and he repeatedly denied it to my face. I read lots of threads on here that rang true and wish I had listened to my gut. I continue to mostly lurk on the relationships board and follow the experience and advice of others that have come through relationship breakdowns.

Respect BestestBrownies

Yes definitely, has helped me massively was reflecting on this very thought recently on a former in law. Our entire relationship was pretty much pre my Mumsnet membership.

They were a nasty gaslighting shit stirrer who simultaneously pretended to be your best pal.
I would have handled them so much more confidently had I been armed with some of the advice on here.

So, a couple of months after I made this OP I made a thread about my now 'ex.'

I thought when I posted this OP that I knew what was happening in my own life, but I didn't really.

Reading the boards is one thing, but it's nothing compared to making a thread and getting outsiders' view of your own situation.

If you feel at all uncomfortable with something that's happening or whatever, I highly recommend making a thread.

Oh and MN got me into attending the Freedom Programme, too.

And I blocked some male acquaintances 'just' based on the gut feeling that they gave me the creeps based on how they messaged me, beven though it wasn't anything 'full on.' (I have bipolar so I can't leave such types hanging around, that's where I went wrong with the ex, as they can take advantage of a vulnerable time.)

Thanks again all!

Yes.
Reading and posting helped me to spot my DH getting too keen on an OW and challenge him before things got out of hand. It worked a treat.
MN also taught me the word 'cocklodger', sadly a couple of my friends have one of these each.
I am more direct with DH and don't let him bullshit me.
Makes me sad to read how many women have twats for DHs.