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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

That moment you realise it’s all over

35 replies

Idontkowmyname · 07/12/2019 08:15

On a weekend break with h and the dc and the way he speaks to me is shocking at the best of times. Traveling up to Scotland to visit family and I’m struggling to breathe and he just ignores me to play videos on his mobile with his headphones in. It takes one of the dc, an 8 year old to go mummy are you ok? How bloody sad when you get more emotional intelligence from an 8 year old than your own husband. He can’t say he didn’t know as I’d responded to a message saying I was struggling to breathe and he went oh ok. I called him on it when we got to our accommodation. Don’t get me started on how he had us all walking around in circles for an hour looking for our accomodation because he insisted upon using his phone rather than reading a map!
Asked him about my phone this morning and I got my head bitten off that all I do is complain and he’s sick of it. He had moved it onto his bedside table where I couldn’t find it. I have asked him before to pop it on my side so I don’t need to disturb him. I don’t know what I’m hoping to achieve by this I just needed to vent to someone as I’m feeling pretty alone to be honest.

OP posts:
Idontkowmyname · 10/12/2019 21:04

@everythingbackbutyou love mantrums! In my sleep deprived state it took a moment for the penny to drop but it made me smile

@HamAndPineapple the silly thing is I’m sitting here looking at what I’ve done wrong. Told him to piss off the other day so in his mind I’m the baddy. Also one of the dc heard me say it too which I’m annoyed at myself for.

OP posts:
TheReef · 10/12/2019 21:22

What is your living situation? Married? Mortgage? Rent? Who's house etc etc, can you start to make inroads to leave or him leaving

BHouse19 · 10/12/2019 21:32

Are you thinking of leaving OP?

Idontkowmyname · 10/12/2019 21:46

@TheReef married and mortgage with every penny to my name put into the deposit. Fees to get out of mortgage before the fixed term would really leave me in the poop.

BHouse I would like to leave I just don’t know how I could make it work financially

OP posts:
TheReef · 11/12/2019 08:23

Get yourself some legal advice so you have an idea of what you may be entitled to. You'll then be in a better position when talking to him

Idontkowmyname · 11/12/2019 21:50

Got some news today which has huge implications for the family and he refused to consider my perspective as it didn’t suit him. Tried chatting to him about his lack of respect and I got sorry you feel disrespected These responses piss me off so much as it’s so not an apology
He then complains I’ve not said anything nice and goes “I’m a terrible person”
He’s got an answer for everything none of which is an apology. Told him no point in continuing the discussion as it wasn’t going anywhere

OP posts:
MissDew · 12/12/2019 12:26

.

DianaT1969 · 12/12/2019 13:33

Sorry to go back to the OP, but I didn't understand it. Do you have a chronic condition that causes you not to breathe? If not, why did that happen? Why did he have your phone in the hotel room?
Small things, but there doesn't seem to be any connection between you two. No kindness. Time to prepare your exit from this relationship I think.

Idontkowmyname · 12/12/2019 15:47

@DianaT1969 the two things are not related he’d just moved my mobile on to his bedside table after I’d fallen asleep
Not a chronic condition no just a winter lurgy that raised its head further after we had departed.

OP posts:
rhodakelly · 05/01/2020 07:52

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