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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dismayed at Facebook video share

8 replies

Twinkle71 · 06/12/2019 23:13

My DH shared something on Facebook today that I found upsetting and inappropriate. It was a video of man taking a women as a sex slave and hiding her under his floor. She was trussed up in rubber and chains and her talked to her in the usual ‘porn manner’ ie dirty slut blah blah blah. There was no sexual contact.
I told him that I was disturbed by the fact he had even viewed it , let alone thought it was appropriate to share.
His answer was that he didn’t mean to post it, he thought he had just sent it privately to a mate. He doesn’t seem to understand why I should find it so upsetting. I have always been very clear on how I feel about porn degrading women. This casual sharing of a video that is everything I despise has shocked me. It makes me think that underneath it all he is a bloody sexist pig with little respect for women, seeing them as sexual playthings. He will honestly think that apart from sharing it on his timeline(to which he was mortified) he has done no wrong; that she was a willing party to the video and it was role play.
I am struggling to broach the issue without losing my temper.
Please wise ones give me some phrases to use that will convey my hatred of this whilst still keeping my cool .

OP posts:
Sandals19 · 06/12/2019 23:29

Why do you need phrases to use.

If my dh was sharing shit like that with his mates, i'd be making a solicitor appointment.

Accidentally put it on FB .. so he's an idiot as well as well as into degrading, weird/disturbing BDSM stuff (and so blatant, unembarrassed, and allured with it that he shares his interest with his mates).

Sandals19 · 06/12/2019 23:32

As for willing party; there have been willing parties to cannibalism; that doesn't change the reaction of an average (normal) person to the scenario.

I'd seriously worry about his sexual tastes, motivations, underlying views of women and sex etc. if a man I was involved with was watching and sharing stuff like that.

Sandals19 · 06/12/2019 23:35

Aw and you don't know whether she try is willing or not - that's the thing about porn. You never really have a clue what the circumstances Inc coercion, abuse, manipulation, vulnerability etc are in the protagonists lives. I think we can safely say the person being degraded, controlled, penetrated etc is more vulnerable than the person doing it.

Sandals19 · 06/12/2019 23:36

Also I'm wondering what you don't know about about, since this was a slip up on his behalf.

Chunkers · 07/12/2019 00:01

If he thinks it shouldn’t be upsetting, why was he mortified to have shared it on his timeline?

fallfallfall · 07/12/2019 00:04

really not a smart one is he? please don't degrade the gene pool by procreating with this one.

Sagradafamiliar · 07/12/2019 00:10

Disgusting. No doubt he's mortified as he could've lost his job if what he posted was seen, not because he revealed himself as a pig to all his friends and family.

MsDogLady · 07/12/2019 00:31

Your H and his friends enjoy watching women being humiliated, tortured and dehumanized. I could not respect such a man.

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