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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is it me in the wrong?

9 replies

d3stroyedhubby · 06/12/2019 22:09

My wife and I have been together for 20 years and have 2 kids. 5 months ago she turned round out of the blue and said she wanted to separate with no prior warning at all.

She wanted me to sleep in another room but still live at home and go on holiday together and stuff so that the kids wouldn't know any different. She immediately said there was no one else which immediately made me realise that there was. After confronting her I found out that on a night out 4 months before a work colleague (her new boss) had started chatting her up and since then she has been smitten, trouble for her is he hasn't even looked the way she is standing since then. He had to get put in a taxi home that night and cannot remember a thing about it and she couldn’t get her key in the door when she got home!

We talked it out and she started with the "I haven't been happy for a while" but we are going to try and improve things.

She has never been secretive but now every time she goes on the internet it is either on here, reading about other people who have done similar things or advice on divorce, or, it is on other sites which give advice on how to get the attention of someone you want and how to pull someone who isn't interested in you etc. We are now 5 months on since she said she wants to try and fix things but she has been searching for her old bf's online, joined tinder and still refuses to stop looking at all the sites which give tips and tricks to try and get together with people. Most recently I found her on the log on page of illicitencounters.com, this is secret dating for married people. Before any of this happened I would not have thought twice about her being on any of these sites and would just have laughed it off but now she is deliberately hiding it and it is not just harmless fun any more.

I’ve since found out that she tried to get her boss into her hotel room after she had told me about all this and we were supposed to be trying to get back on track, she doesn’t like the fact I know and we have now separated but still in the same house.

She said she just wants to start again with someone else and get “those feelings” and needs space. I don’t understand how this is possible to give her space and she can start again when nothing has changed except I have moved bedrooms. All the daily routines are the same only now she knows she can do whatever she wants if she goes out, this seems like a having her cake and eating it scenario to me!

Am I wrong thinking that if one person decides it’s over because they were having feelings for someone else or trying to have an affair then they usually pack a case and move out? I understand if it was a mutual decision to split then co-habiting is a way forward but this isn’t mutual and it is emotional torture.

I have drastically undersold the emotional turmoil I have gone through for the last 5 months and I am now a broken man but she really doesn't care about that or the family being together at all. She has recently turned 40 and she has completely changed. I'm sorry, I know this is just a post of me venting but I had to vent somewhere.

OP posts:
Closetbeanmuncher · 06/12/2019 22:40

Wowsers her behaviour is like a desperate teenager, she obviously wants something new and the thrill of the chase.

People like this don't change I'm afraid; leave her to crack in with it and get yourself an upgrade with the functioning brain if an adult!

Closetbeanmuncher · 06/12/2019 22:41

*of an adult

Fairycake2 · 06/12/2019 22:48

Sadly it sounds as though she has checked out of your marriage and although you've tried to 'fix it' she clearly doesn't want to. I think it's time to sort out a proper separation and one of you moving out. In the meantime, take care of yourself, try and keep busy and get some support.

d3stroyedhubby · 07/12/2019 00:43

She has checked out but it's only a recent thing, she hasn't strayed in 20 years apart from this. The odd thing is that she is really not happy now and its him that's made her unhappy by rejecting her yet me and the kids are getting put through the mill! 20 years together and 2 kids I would expect at least a proper attempt to make things right!

OP posts:
Hollycumpooster · 07/12/2019 08:03

Its not him it’s her. She is the one who invested her fantasy in him, it didn’t work out for her but it could have been any other shiny prince, it just happened to be him.
The sad truth for you is that she no longer wants to be married. You deserve better than this. Initiate divorce proceedings and move on with your life.

movingonup123 · 07/12/2019 08:12

It sounds like a mid life crisis but you have to stop being a door mat. Of course she has the security of her home but the freedom of a single person. Could she move out into a rental property nearby so she can start her new life and have her fair share of looking after the children? Or you need to arrange with her when she is looking after the children and get yourself out to meet some friends of do some exercise to help your mental health.

You need to start putting yourself and the kids first . Get some proper legal advice from a solicitor but you need to harden up and maybe you need to push things along with regards to her moving out for the sake of you all moving on with your lives especially your children.

This is just torture for you and

movingonup123 · 07/12/2019 08:13

you have the power to make it come to an end.

mamato3lads · 07/12/2019 14:43

Bless your heart. How fucking awful for you. It's clear to me that
1)shes just turned 40. Married since young. The sparks gone and instead of fighting to get it back shes become infatuated with someone else. Could have been anyone.
2) she feels invisible, the attention is like a drug
3)she longs for the excitement of youth, of new love, teenage stuff really
4) shes been clouded by all the above and has destroyed your marriage

I know because I've been there. Those feelings. Your relationship is very similar to mine, her feelings mirrored by my own. But i didn't cheat. I stayed , miserable and resentful and drove my husband mad. He couldn't work me out.

We have 3 kids. During the dark times I stayed for them. Now, its getting better, a year of soul searching later I realised yes I miss excitement I miss fun I miss not being bogged down my kids husband house etc but ultimately I realised I love my husband and he tries so hard I could never hurt him. So we work through it good days aplenty but bad days too. Hes been patient with my crisis and in return I've remained loyal to him and trusted that the grass is not always greener and I'm lucky to have him

You sound lovely...and so hurt. Sorry if I've rambled . What's shes doing is awful it's wrong and she should be bloody ashamed of herself

Hugs x

Tippletopple · 07/12/2019 17:40

No it’s not you. At the very least if she’s checked out she should have the moral backbone to end the marriage and be honest with you. The fact she doesn’t means she just wants to have her cake and eat it. It’s just the typical male midlife crisis but with genders reversed - I guess, sadly, we can’t have equal opportunities for women to have the careers, rights, etc without there being an equal opportunity to be an “I want to relive my teenager years” douchebag as well.

In all seriousness, check out ChumpLady - she caters for all genders in your situation and has some excellent advice.

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