Cheating?

[Whatwouldyoudo124]

I am seriously fed up with myself.

I have anxiety and am generally a bit suspicious and cynical. I have been married for three years. Been with my partner for 6.
He did have an indiscretion in the first year we were together- sexting. I chose to move on.

I can honestly say that I put that behind me and have not felt worried until recently. He has changed his behaviour, and I must admit a part of me thinks he may be seeing someone behind my back.

He has shown a massive disinterest in sex (which he says is down to stress at work - he has recently been promoted and is finding the transition stressful)

Occasional working late and drinks after work (only once or twice - totally normal really)
A gut feeling of disconnection

I have voiced my concerns and he has
Told me that he understands due to what happened years ago why I might feel like that, and he is happy to hand over his phone at any time, anything I need etc etc.

I told him I don’t want that. I am not in a great place personally (lost my job, struggling with anxiety) and I’m worried I’m projecting.

If you were me what would you do?

Probably follow my gut instinct x

In what way - on a practical level?

Its hard to tell with the little information you've given. It doesn't sound like there is much evidence to suggest he is. Does he text more often? Does he try to conceal or hide his phone when receiving messages ?
Gut instincts are often right but give your background you may be being overly paranoid. I wouldn't completley dismiss though, just keep a close eye on things. If he IS cheating and you've made him aware you're suspicious, he may be more careful.

Thank you. There is definitely no real evidence of any kind. He’s not glued to his phone but uses it often, we both do - him usually for bbc news, buzzfeed etc. His phone never buzzes incessantly- but obviously it could be on silent. It is locked but then so is mine as I was sick of it butt dialling or bag dialling people when it got knocked so there is no deeper reason for that.

Hi OP

Nothing you have described, doesnt sound like it couldn't be just related to him being a bit stressed about his new job if that makes sense?

A lot of the time on here, when people have spoken to their partner, the partner has got defensive and refused to let them look at their phone or called them controlling psychos etc. It sounds to me like he has been fairly understanding that his past behaviour may have had a bearing on your views and has done what he can to reassure you.

I think I'd stay vigilant but try not to let it worry me, in your shoes

What opportunities does he have to cheat? Does he work away ever? Or lunchtime meetings with someone?

I think gut instinct is often right, but you need to establish if he has opportunities. People I've known to cheat often delete apps temporarily whilst at home or mute them, book hotel rooms at lunchtimes etc.