He said this after knowing me two weeks...red flag or how it is supposed to be?!

[user63212]

Met twice, spoken on the phone every night for between an hour to four hours depending on the night and what we have on in the evenings etc.

After seeing him for the third time yesterday, he text me today saying he has never felt like this before, cant wait to see me again, he likes me more every day and he is very excited to see what happens with us.

I cringe at sentiments too soon into something and while my usual reaction would be to feel scared off, i do actually like him and have feeling for him more than i usually would at this point, so it is nice, but i also don't feel i need to hear that sort of thing yet.

red flag or all ok here do you think?

I think I would back off the intense phone calls and do more face to face meetings and see how they go.

He really likes you. My father proposed to my mother 14 days (5 dates) from the day they first met. Long and very happy marriage.

What is the red flag is you finding his approach unattractive and actually asking strangers about it. The red flag is that you’re not that in to him.

Neither of you are wrong or weird. But your response is the red flag that this isn’t a one term relationship

OP I am like you in that I would find it a but full on.. that said, I don't think it's a red flag as such. If he was suggesting moving in together, or telling you that you are perfect in every way while slagging of his exes - that would be a red flag. "Excited to see where this goes" is just nice .

I think 'i like you more every day' is a little bit odd if he means it in the sense of liking you as a human being because... what did he think of you to begin with?!

If it's his way of saying his feelings are developing it could be fine though.

The fact that you're questioning his words even a little bit probably means you shouldn't let your guard down completely. Why not wait and see if the relationship lives up to his hype?

He also does things like he will suggest things we can do over christmas...not on xmas day but around xmas. is that normal?! after a big mistake a year ago i am wanting a bit of guidance!

i feel like planning three weeks in advance is quite optimistic. i told him this and he said that he would rather go into it with optimism and assume we are still seeing each other then.... normal point of view i guess?!

Tale a few steps back op. See what happens. If he allows you the space, good. If not then you know something isn't right.

Keep it cool about Christmas plans for now. I think usually in the early dating stages, which is what this is. We know people want to be with family at Christmas and give them space. But he may just be caught up in excitement of something new at Christmas. If it is only one day he is asking for then that might not be a problem, but again, if it looks like he intends to monopolise your time over the festive period, then that is a worry.

Perhaps nearer the time you could tell him you might not be in touch much over Christmas as you intend to spend it with family (but are looking forwards to seeing him after) and see how he takes that. If he pouts ect...rather than understanding.

But I would try pulling back a bit/setting a few boundaries now and see what happens.

I’ve had this happen to me twice, the second time very recently - guys being super into me early on, loads of talking and soppiness and saying it felt like something special. Neither turned out to be the real deal. It’s nice that for some people it has but both times for me they were frankly sociopathic with serious attachment issues, so I’d be wary if I were you. Don’t necessarily call it off but take a step back and be prepared for him To go weird

i dont know if i want to put him to the test though...

when i did say "oh we dont know each other that well yet so let's see" (after one of his nice commentys) he just said sorry i know you dont like things to be full on, i just like you and hope you feel the same...

Met someone on line, we chatted for a few months before meeting. We both had feelings for each other within a few times of meeting.
Been together now 20 years.

Things happened really quickly between me and my husband. We've been together 12 years now...

And did he then stop being so full on?

And how did he 'know'. Have you hinted you don't like how full on he is being? Or perhaps, people have told him in the past that he is this way...

The most important thing is to protect yourself. It isn't testing someone to claim your personal space. Not a normal person anyway.

'Hey do, if we keep talking on the phone like this, we'll run out of things to say on the date. So how about I just see you on Sunday like we planned? I'm looking forwards to it'.

'Hey, I will be spending Christmas with family so contact might be a bit sporadic but do you want to hang out on the 27th and go see... ...I know you enjoy.... And would love to go with you...'./

Ect...
You don't need to blow cold. Just claim your space and see if he is OK with that. Orif he finds ways to invade it. If he really likes you, he'll respect you and he isn't going anywhere.

Or if he calls tonight: don't answer. Text him 'sorry, bit busy, will give ya a buzz in a day or two. Hope all is well your way x'.

Does he just accept that? ('OK cool, speak soon x') Or does he keep trying to phone. Or sending you a gazilion texts so that if you really were busy with something, your attention would still be all focussed on him anyway. Or imply that something is wrong so that your mind will be on him rather than what you are doing.

T

if i said that he would ask why, ask if i was ok and were things ok as between us

if i then said yes fine i just have stuff i need to do im pretty sure he would back off and leave me to do. highly doubt he would start calling me.

i think if i suddenly said that now though it would be confusing to him as i am happy to speak everyday and willingly engage with it and enjoy it.

Its a green flag if you hear him say that and don't want to run a mile. My DH said after a week that he wanted to move to my city to be with me and after 3 weeks that he could see us having children. Within a year we'd done both (well pregnant at least) and we are still together 10 years later. I would usually run a mile at 'too much too soon' but I felt pleased when I heard him say these things so knew he was the man for me.

My husband told me he was going to marry me on our first date. Just celebrated 9 years married. Being keen and enthusiastic isn't always a bad thing.

Wouldn't be a red flag to me it matched my own feeling

I would just assume that this 'could' be a red flag but noone know this for sure at this stage. Some people literally wear their heart on their sleeve and don't see any point in beating around the bush. This would well be the case here. He may just be really really into you and just wants you to know.
And of course, he could be a love-bomber but only time will tell.
The good thing here is that you are aware of all this so just try to keep this in your mind. Is hard not to get carried away though if you like him too and he's saying all the things you want to hear.
My advice is just enjoy it for what it is but keep in the back of your mind that its still early days so things could easily go wrong.