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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Zero sex in pregnancy - how to bounce back?

2 replies

Kro8819 · 06/12/2019 14:50

I'm 33 weeks pregnant and can count the amount of times we've had sex during this pregnancy on one hand! During the first trimester this was down to me as I felt very sick, tired and sore breasts so generally not up for it.

After I started to feel better I also started to show and my husband is really squeamish about the pregnancy, he finds it off-putting that there's a baby in there when it comes to sex which I do get but he also won't even touch the bump to feel the baby move..he's freaked out by the whole thing in and outside of the bedroom. Because we're not having sex we also seem to have stopped cuddling as much or passionately kissing...unless I try or bring it up I honestly think he wouldn't go near me.

I know I'm very hormonal right now but the lack of any intimacy has made me feel quite resentful towards him and even embarrassed to get changed in front of him. I can't make him want sex but I just feel down about it as we still have 2 months to go...then I have to recover....then we'll knackered with a new born and I already feel so distant from him I worry about the strain all this is going to put on the relationship without any intimacy to keep the bond going.

I feel a bit rejected and pissed off to honest....I'd be fine-is without the sex but on top of the lack of kissing/touching bump/cuddles I feel like what's the point? I bring it up and then he'll say come have a cuddle then like he's doing me a favour then it just goes back to normal.

Just wanted to hear if anyone had been through this and if you managed to salvage it after pregnancy?

OP posts:
puds11 · 06/12/2019 14:56

Did he know how babies were made before you got pregnant Hmm he sounds super pathetic.

It’s very hurtful feeling rejected like that. How will he feel about a post partum body? I definitely tell him how you feel.

MalusDacus · 06/12/2019 15:11

I totally agree with what puds11 said. You definitely need to have a serious conversation with your husband.
When I was pregnant my husband reacted similar to your husband(he was still affectionate but "scared"to have sex because I had a baby insideHmm),long story short we talked about it and guess what, we started having sex like bunnies. He needs to understand how you feel,you're not ill just pregnant.. you have needs and he better man up and be a husband!

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