The marital home and what to do with it

[richteasandcheese]

We are separated but stuck living together for the time being until spring

I want to sell our house - I can't afford to buy him out (and despite him controlling and limiting my efforts to earn money, he can't understand why I can't afford to) but he refuses to sell. Says the kids need the stability of home (I doubt they care, they'd rather have a happy mum), that it's too messy to sell, that we'd make a loss (we wouldn't) blah blah blah.

The alternative is a Mesher agreement but I don't know enough about this and it's viability - can anyone shed light/have lived experience?

Can I force him to sell?

I'm at the stage where I want to move with the kids in to a rental property but also don't want to leave the marital home as my name isn't on the mortgage

Bump in case anyone can help

You need legal advice.
There's the Rights of Women family law helpline.
And your local Citizens Advice will probably have a list of local law clinics and solicitors (some of which might offer a free initial consultation).

Is your husband abusive and/or controlling? Your comments suggest that he might be? If so you should talk to Women's Aid. If you are willing to report the abuse then you might be entitled to legal aid.

Oh and you should do this if you haven't already
www.gov.uk/stay-in-home-during-separation-or-divorce

Also see rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-information/family-law/marriage-your-rights-to-your-home/

And rightsofwomen.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/PDF-guide-to-financial-arrangements-after-marriage-breakdown.pdf

He's a low level emotionally abusive/narcissitic/he's the victim/joy sucking type. I am getting in touch with a solicitor but their time is money so want to have any idea of what's possible before then.

I might qualify for LA anyway, and I'd like to avoid making the split nasty since we are living together and he would have the potential to fuck me over if he thought I would bring him in to disrepute

Thank you for the links, really helpful

"I might qualify for LA anyway"

There is no legal aid for divorce unless the relationship is abusive.

Well, you can get legal aid for mediation but that's it. That's unlikely to work with an abusive STBXH so you will need to consult a solicitor and go to court. If you want legal aid for that you'll need evidence of abuse.

rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-information/family-law/family-law-legal-aid/

I'm in Scotland, so it works differently here - it can be used for civil matters

Ah. Would have been helpful to mention that originally but never mind!

Sorry - I forget that there can be big differences between the two sometimes