Weird behaviour from a ex girlfriend.

[Donthegone123]

My ex girlfriend decides to message me out of the blue a lot of the time and then ignore me.
We broke up in Feb of this year. After I tried my best to reconcile but she didn't want to. I never begged or pleaded but just asked to meet for coffe pe and tal, as we endedthings after three years over message when she suggested we can no longer gone on like this. Reluctantly I agreed because for the past three months of the relationship I tried so hard to keep things going, but it was difficult to even just see her. So in the end I agreed as I couldn't see another way forward.

Fast forward the months after the break up, we would both contact eachother until she would eventually randomly stop replying and ignore me. Then weeks later pop up again. And then ignore me again.
I stopped contacting her because it was hurting me a lot and I was actually very suprised by her behaviour.

Roll on a few months and she gets back in touch after I send her a message by mistake. She seemed genuinely happy to talk and pryed for info about what I was upto. We got onto the subject of our break up and I asked again to meet up for a coffee. She told me she didn't know and was unsure. Then proceeded to ignore me again. By this point my emotions towards her were fading and I was getting fed up of her rudeness. So I just carried on with my life and tried to forget about her.

I then bumped into a mutual friend and she mentioned her and my ex were going out for her bday. In passing talk I mentioned to her wish her a happy bday from me. I wasn't going to text it her, but I felt it was the right thing to do on a human level and it was directly contacting her.
On her bday night I received a text from her thanking for the bday wishes, and then she started talking to me all night and for days afterwards until again she disappears and ignores me while posting happily on her social media. Again I never message her again,

Ten days go by and I took myself away on a mini break. The minute I post pics up of my visit she messages me out of the blue asking what I had been upto and what I did at the weekend......
Again after a day or so of talking she ignores and leaves me unread.
At this point I'm past caring and actually find it quite funny and I think she as shown her true colours.

So I carry in with life until over a week later she replies to the last message I sent her! So I respond and she 'reads it' and doesn't reply for five day until you guessed it she pops back up one evening...then disappears.

I know everyone will say to stop replying, but I don't wish to lower myself to her level by being rude and deliberatly ignore a person. I want to be better than that, I am however completely baffled as to why she behaves like this?

Is she attention seeking? bread crumbing? Bored? The fact is now I'm so done with my emotions, it used to bother me a lot but now she's done it so much I expect it. I'm just curious as to why she is like this and also appears curious as to what I'm upto.

I've read a similar post recently, if it was you, then you're way over invested and are being strung along, walk away.
If it wasn't you...
You're still over invested and being strung along. Why don't you want to walk away? You have no need to keep in touch, no kids, joint belongings, and you didn't even see her when together. It's not rude to move on, it's just moving on, so I'd do it.

Have you posted this before?

If so, please block her and move on

You aren't being rude ignoring someone that ignored you. Just block her and move on.

@Windmillwhirl thanks. It's no time my thing to ignore anyone but guess she's doing it to me so stuff her

@Itsallgonewoowoo it is the same poster, they have also posted way more threads than I can care to remember....always the exact same thing....unless the tiniest bit of info is added

You need a clean break. Block move on. Meet new people

Block her and move on.

You seem to post the same thing about once a week. What are you getting out of it?

She sounds dickish, Justin ignore her and don’t be tempted to text her back when she texts you out of the blue. Sounds like she’s only texting when she has nothing else to do or the possibility that you could be with another woman (on things like the mini break) which unnerves her til she realises you’re alone and then gets bored and doesn’t care.

You need to block her and move on. Her motivation for treating you like she does are her own and won't make you feel better if you know what they are.

It sounds as though you didn‘t get the close off you‘d have liked at the end of this relationship (a coffee would have been fair enough in most situations) and you are still scrabbling after it. Unfortunately, you now have to create this closure by going no contact. Three things I’d deduce from what you say.
. She ended it, so doesn‘t want to be with you
. She’s not trying to build a friendship (too inconsistent) but it really doesn’t sound as though that would be possible anyway
. She’s ambivalent, for whatever reason, and prepared to let that affect her behaviour.

It isn‘t rude to put a line under this by ignoring her, it’s self protection. I have had ex boyfriends say „I don‘t want to talk after this, it’s not good for me“ after I split up with them and I respected it - I certainly didn’t think they were rude. Said ex boyfriends are all now happily married as far as I know. It’s fine to lay down boundaries and sometimes you have to.

You aren't being rude one bit. Block and delete her on all social media platforms and on your phone. It sounds in a way she's curious as to what you are up to and with who. As an ex this is none of her concern.

No kids or house together so you have a clean break, use it.

She sounds bored OP and using you for the occasional ego boost as you provide it. Some people are just nosy aren't they- lots of people google an ex or are keen to hear from mutual friends what's going on with them- it's nothing to do with lingering feelings or Hope's of reconciliation.

I too am sure I've answered this before- it isn't about 'lowering yourself' OP- taking crumbs from an ex and trying to get more of them is hardly taking a high road. She's not your friend, you've not decided to be friends so there us zero point having any contact- point proven by the amount of time you waste on this, overthinking about it and responding to her. It's your own time you're wasting, as they say.

You're obsessed. Youre posting regularly and changing nothing.

She may be trying to 'keep you sweet' with occasional messages because you're freaking her out. If she pretends to be friends you leave her alone the rest of the time.

She may like the ego boast. She may feel like being friendly after a couple of drinks and then sober up and realise she's being unfair to you.

You need to stop trying to understand her motives, and work out your own. Why haven't you blocked and moved on? Why are you moaning about it on mn every few weeks under the guise of seeking advice, but continuing the contact? What is this confused martyrdom giving you? What are you really getting out of this? The woe is me, I'm so powerless and confused act is fulfilling something in you, what is it?