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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Was I wrong?

11 replies

Inexperiencedchick · 04/12/2019 22:41

Hi everyone. Just looking for get some insight.
Last week I was at his. We had a really nice time, then decided to go for a walk.
I stopped at some point to take pictures, he hugs my from behind and touches my breasts. I felt uncomfortable to be touched in the middle of the road. Told him not to. We continued walking. At some point we went to a pub, he got the drinks, we sat. Maybe 10min later he says “I need a really nice sex after this”
I felt bad, so many people around. I’m not the one to discuss all that openly and kept quiet.
We left, and I told him that he was after attention of people around him, hence him talking like that. He laughed it off and said everybody does that in this country. We are both expats.
After returning back I left and told him to find someone who will allow him to touch her breasts in public.
The reason I left- I felt violated, that the person just crossed my boundaries, and the fact that I can’t even walk freely on the street without being pestered. There were people around. I don’t mind light PDA.
Was I wrong to leave?

OP posts:
AFistfulofDolores1 · 04/12/2019 22:46

No, you were not.

Singlenotsingle · 04/12/2019 22:46

No, I don't think so. He made you feel uncomfortable without any regard for your feelings. Is he an exhibitionist? Is he the sort of person the likes to DTD deed in the open, with the risk of being seen/watched? Some people like the thrill.

Sleepyhollow71 · 04/12/2019 22:46

Absolutely not. You don’t like it, weren’t comfortable and that’s all that matters. You did the right thing x

Aquamarine1029 · 04/12/2019 22:48

What a fucking creep. Your only mistake was in not punching him in the throat when he molested you.

I sincerely hope you never see it speak to him again. He has made it very clear who he really is.

Aquamarine1029 · 04/12/2019 22:49

*or speak

Original poster
Inexperiencedchick · 04/12/2019 22:52

Thank you everyone.
Aquamarine I genuinely felt bad. I see couples around no other man does that to a woman. I just don’t understand him.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 04/12/2019 22:55

Of course you felt bad! He violated you and treated you like a fucking blow up doll on a public street, fgs. He's shit and will always be shit. Hold your head high and be assured that there are loads of decent men out there who would never treat you this way.

dontgobaconmyheart · 04/12/2019 23:09

You're in the right, he sounds disrespectful and immature. Sex is consensual, as is intimate touching and it doesn't sound like he cares about consent or your feelings a great deal- laying out that he expects sex from you in the pub is vulgar and weird OP. I'd run a mile.

Original poster
Inexperiencedchick · 04/12/2019 23:17

He did insist I would stay a night and he will sleep on the sofa. I just couldn’t bare staying with him. The situation in the pub just pushed me to end it. As we entered, I offered to sit somewhere in the corner, where not many people around. His choice was to sit closer to people, and then dropping that statement.
I felt completely disrespected that night.

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 04/12/2019 23:39

So you've finished with him now? Quite right. Trust your own instincts.

Jpulgar · 06/12/2019 05:50

Are you in Spain?

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