DP& I have struggled over the years with raising our DC (no family or friends to help), sometimes with conflicting parenting styles.
Having suffered from a bad childhood I made motherhood my life mission and everything else just dropped. I started therapy, anti depressants but I was alewys on the edge, also was feeling that I couldn't get anything from therapy either. I was a SAHM and pretty miserable. We both decided I should get a job, but I'd always find excuses (since July, I got a job in November. DC started nursery in the summer).
My DP has been supportive through my depression. Fast forward to October I could sense something was off one day and asked him, he wouldn't say but finally dropped the bomb and said he was done, fed up,wanted out, but would be 100% there for our DC but can't be responsible for another adult (me), that he was miserable and can't wait for me to get myself together any longer. I burst crying, was really upset, all the emotions. He wouldn't even hug me, said he'd get a better job, for me to get a job so he can move out in about 6mo until we're both financially on our feet. I did what I shouldn't have... cried, begged, said sorry. I decided I had to turn my life around, not for us, but for me. I got a job within 1 week, quit antidepressants slowly, started eating well etc.
After about 1 week he became started hugging me again, cuddling,no sex though.We enjoyed each other's company,I was in a much better place, I could see improvements. Today he became distant again, I asked what's wrong he said I should stop txting him kisses, hugs, we're still separating, he's adamant he's moving out and should go out separate ways. DC will be his top priority,we should remain friends to make this work. But insisted on his wish and decision from a couple of weeks ago, he doesn't love me, he tried many times to ask me to leave our DC sleep in their bed and us in ours, that he doesn't look at me in a sexual way anymore.
I'm heartbroken. I like my new me, I've made a ton of friends, and was hoping we couls get back to a better place together. But I'm afraid it has come a little bit too late. He said he loves our DC dearly, lives spending time with him, but not with me. He wants to be anywhere but around me and the hugs were because of familiarity... A friend of mine will be leaving abroad for Christmas and I was thinking taking my DC and spend a week at her's. Maybe give my DP a chance to miss us, a breather I don't know... he's done this before our DC was born, he was havong second thoughts, spent 2 weeks apart then texted me saying he missed me deeply. But now it's different... like he's made his mind up. He doesn't want to go to counseling together as he doesn't see a point and counseling is for people who still want to work at it (in his words), not when one wants out.
I love him more than ever, I want out family to be together. I'm at a loss. Is there any hope?