Concerns over child

[Jumpingforgin]

Sorry this is long... I have a friend I've known for a long time. She has a child, who is 5, and she's not sending him to school or educating him.
She had conflicting views over whether to homeschool/enroll in mainstream schooling, chose to enroll him, but he hasn't actually attended a single day since September. She has no intention of sending him at all, and he isn't getting any sort of education right now. I assumed the local authority would be quick to pick up on this, and ensure he was getting an education, but so far, nothing has been done and I feel he is slipping through the net... He has become increasingly withdrawn and angry, and I worry there might be more to this than just his education being neglected. The confusion when he was meant to be going to school in September to then suddenly not going, obviously affected him, and now all his friends are at school, and he isn't, must be unsettling him. I'm concerned of issues at home. The dad is present, but neither of them work, and I have a suspicion there could be mental health problems at play. A couple of comments such as "daddy is having an angry day" and "my daddy is always in bed" just make me think the home life situation is far from ideal. I have nothing against home education, but that is not what this is, it's just a complete avoidance of the education system altogether. I know there was a brief phone conversation with a social worker after he failed to attend school back in September, and she assured them that he was being deregistered and home schooled, and she said that they were happy with this, didn't want to see them, or and home we proof or their set up. She told me she's happy as now she can carry on "non educating" him. And now it seems it's "case closed" and he's slipped through the net. What can/should I do? Should I just assume SS are taking care of it, and leave them to it? Or do I need to report? I feel bad as she's a friend, but I also feel cross that she's almost laughing in the face of the authorities for "getting away" with not educating him, when it should be every child's right. She just doesn't think it's important. Surely legally she can't just get away with saying she's home edding him, but not actually following any sort of curriculum? Is it not regulated? He's a lovely little lad, and I feel so sorry for him as he seems so confused and angry at the world right now.

My advice is that you contact your local childrens services outlining your concerns, including child's comments around daddy is having an angry day.

Please don't feel bad, you are absolutely doing the right thing

Your friend’s behaviour is very troubling as are the comments about the father. They are taking the little boy off the radar - it sounds like a recipe for abuse. Depriving the little boy of an education sounds wicked to me, as well as all the social lessons which come with school. Your friend may also be being abused by the father. Yes - you should report your concerns.

What is her justification for ‘non-educating’ him? Why on earth would you as a responsible and caring parent wish to purposefully deny your child the right to have an education? I have no issues with home schooling at all and it suits some families very well. This situation just smacks of laziness and neglect. I would report too.

Call Children's services. This is a Safeguarding issue.

And the comments from the child about homelife are just the icing on the cake really. It doesn’t sound like a healthy happy environment for him at all.

I will ring ss in the morning. I knew this was what I should do, just needed to hear that I wasn't jumping the gun with it. I still am very skeptical that anything will get done, but I feel someone needs to stand up for this little boy. Hopefully they will open up a new case and someone will keep an eye on things from now on. It's such an awful situation. I don't feel bad about it anymore, as I know the dc is what's important. She's doing him a huge disservice right now, and he deserves better. I don't understand the reluctance send him to school, as she is very lazy, and unorganized so homeschooling is not going to be up her street, but I think part of it is her confrontational attitude. It's like she cannot and will not conform, or do what she's supposed to. She wants to go against the grain, just because that's what she always does. Shame a 5 year old is getting used to play her games

You are absolutely doing the right thing. She is robbing that little boy of a decent education and the chance to make friends his own age just to further some feckless agenda she has.

We need a license to drive a car and training for most jobs, but unfortunately any fool can become a ‘parent’.

If she is as lazy as you say I would question if her anti-authoritarian attitude is even the prevailing reason here, or if she simply can’t be bothered with the early starts and school runs and lunches and uniforms and so on. Either way, the little boys developmental needs should be priority and they clearly aren’t so stick to your path.