Help! I don't think I'm enough....

[Moybabber]

Hi all,
Help please. I've been with my wife for 15 years now with 2 children 9 & 11. I love her very much and can't imagine how tough life would be without her but we're in trouble. She has always liked a cuddle and if I'm honest she's probably wanted more than me. I've always thought that no 2 people would ever want the same amount of cuddles so I haven't worried about it but my wife has started to think that I don't love her enough because I don't want to cuddle as much as her. I've always said that we need to spend more quality time together (away from jobs/kids/stress) and suggested meeting for a date lunch regularly but her work proved too busy to allow her to do this.
In hindsight I don't agree that she didn't have time as she makes time for yoga, shopping etc on her lunch break but that's her decision.
She has recently become very upset about the amount of cuddles (as a number I suppose I approach her for one about once a day) that she's getting and is seriously questioning how much I love her.
I'm worried as I don't want to cuddle her for her sake as I feel that would be false but I need to improve the situation. I'm working on getting more time together by arranging babysitters etc but what should I do in the mean time?
I should also add that at the moment she's feeling very insecure as she had her hair cut a bit too short (her words, not mine) and doesn't feel very feminine.

Do you mean sex when you say cuddles?

Hah. No. Just everyday cuddles.

'She has recently become very upset about the amount of cuddles (as a number I suppose I approach her for one about once a day)'

If she's saying once a day is not enough, I'm going to take a gamble and assume you're meaning cuddles rather than sex. Otherwise, she really is keen.

'I'm worried as I don't want to cuddle her for her sake as I feel that would be false '

I know some people don't like cuddles, but most people would think- where's the harm in giving your wife one? It only takes a few seconds or something. Everyone's different though I suppose.

Unless you really do mean sex.

Perhaps you could make sure that you're a bit more tactile (in nice ways: like a buss in passing, sitting close, hand on knee etc) generally and see if that helps.

Some possibly lying people on here have claimed to shag 3 times a day relentlessly, so thought it was worth clarifying .

Surely cuddling once a day is enough? It's a bit difficult to make out your wife's intentions. She wants more cuddles but doesn't want to make more time to see you?
Have you tried smaller acts of affection like handholding on the sofa, touching her back as you walk past, a peck on the cheek?
Also agree with PP that this might be about your sex life.
A friend complained to me that her husband only hugged her when he wanted sex and she found it demoralising.

It is about communication. You need to talk with her.

Give her random hugs, tell her she’s beautiful, ask her to come sit by you and/or you sit by her, let her lean/lie against you and gently caress her shoulders, back and hair.

Do all these things with no intention of leading to sex.

Thanks for all the responses! Just to clarify I don't mean sex but everyday cuddles. I could be more tactile but I do get confused with the mixed messages I get from her. She doesn't seem to put importance on alone time and can be quite approachable when she's working (works from home but is scary busy most of the time). I'm going to talk to her about spending more time in a nicer environment outside of home/work to see if that helps.

I think your wife sounds very needy and infantile. I mean cuddles and hugs are spontaneous not demanded x times a day ... what is she 3 years old? And especially if she cant make time for you ... perhaps she is fulfilled by a hug, but you need more time?

I agree with Spritesobright that some partners only cuddle when they want sex and so the other partner pulls away.

Have you tried reading The Little Book of Hugs which is fun and quite joyous and may help with this.