There is a group of about 8 girls including myself that I have known since high school (now late 20s) and I also have about 8 other friends I would say.
I feel like I want to get rid of about 50% of them, to be honest.
Some of the friendships are slightly toxic and some, I have just outgrown them.
Out of the school group of 8,there are 2-3 lovely ones I wouldn't want to lose but the rest have bitchy tendencies. The group as a whole have made little digs about me and they like to laugh at me.
When we were at school 15 years ago I was a little messy and disorganised, but I was smart and kind. They still see me as this person to laugh at rather than someone who has done well and achieved things.
I used to have very low self esteem and few boundaries, and one in particular liked to comment on it. I feel now like i'm always trying to prove that I am confident and happy and the whole thing feels a little forced.
I've heard a few things like 'you overthink things' 'you're too sensitive' 'you care too much what people think.'
It's annoying really because I don't believe that thinking and being sensitive are bad things, they are just personality traits. Some people are very sensitive, some are not at all, we are all different.
I also have two who seem to go against most things I say. Obviously they are entitled to their opinion but so am I. For example there was a man on OLD who had a profile picture of just his legs. I laughed and said to my friend I found it a bit odd and she said i'm judgemental. I'm allowed to have an opinion of it though.
Anyway this rant probably seems a bit all over the place. I just want to start again with a new group of people, and to be seen as a confident person. Maybe I should just distance myself from the others and focus on meeting new people ?
Apart from a small number of them, I just no longer feel good when I go out with them, I feel self conscious and i'm sick of being told you're too this, you're too that.