Xmas disappointment

[PleaseGiveMeAShake]

So this weekend we planned a fun family Christmas filled weekend.
Saturday we went to a Christmas market with shows etc.
Sunday was planned sweets, hot chocolate and tree decorating.
This is the last weekend dh will have off until after Xmas now.

Our family consists of - dh, dd 11years, ds 3 years and me.

I am 7 and 1/2 months pregnant, severely aneamic and just getting over a horrible cold my ds kindly shared with me
The past 2 weeks dh has done nothing to help- even when I have asked him to help around the house just for the 2 weeks I have been unwell and looking after ds who was unwell.

I am totally drained but made sure I was ready to make sure we all had a fun weekend.

On saturday Dd threw 3 massive strops at the Xmas market.
Sat night I done all the house chores that where neglected when I was unwell, while dh watched tv.

I got to bed late due to cleaning. Dd got up at 7.30 Sunday threw another strop, woke the whole house. Then dh had a go at me for being so tired.

I literally just burst into tears and have been crying off and on since.

We ended up not putting up the tree (the part I was really looking forward too.)
I am just so sad and hurt.
I feel miserable, I was looking forward to this and was hoping it's would be a special memory for us all.
I am so fed up of making sure everyone is always happy and enjoying themselves. And no one gives two hoots about what I would like/enjoy.

I am just here to facilitate everyone else's happiness and take the dregs.
I need to give myself a shake but I am so hurt and angry with dh and dd I am struggling.

I know this is a small issue compared to some of the horrible things some people are facing in life. But I am just so disappointed and hurt.
Please give me a shake. nicely if possible because I am still a crying mess

Is DD NT as 11 is a bit old for massive strops otherwise. Your DH sounds like a lazy useless fucker, 7.5 months pregnant and you're running about whilst you're Ill and he's sat on his arse doing fuck all. I worry for you when the baby comes

You don't need a shake, he does.

Whats going on that your 11 year old is throwing strops so loud she wakes the house? And out in public?

What does your husband say/do when you ask for help?

Stop doing it all. Just stop.

I'd just gather all the comforting things flask of hot chocolate, chocolate and some good magazines and take yourself off to bed and leave your hubby to get on with it. He doesn't sound like he gives a shit about you to be honest. I would get this sorted before the baby arrives or you're in for a rough ride.

Was your partner helpful before pregnancy?

Dd is dh's stepdaughter, her actual dad has recently had a baby boy and won't be seeing her over Xmas as he is busy with his new family. Since being told this she has been a bit of a brat and taking it out on dh and I.
Dd was seen by chams and they stated she does have a lot of autistic trates but They don't think she is on the spectrum. But our doctor wants her reassessed.

Dh work quite a distance away and I am fine doing the bulk of the work. And I know when the baby comes it will be up to me to do everything.
But it's just when I asked for a little help when I am unwell I don't think that is too much to ask.
The 3 year old is such a help and I am so sad for him. He was so excited to put up the tree.
I just feel so hurt and sad.

Sadly you want a particular type of family that you don’t have and simply will never have with a husband like that.

So either stop dreaming. Or leave him and whilst it won’t be rosy, it will be better

He was crap with ds until he was about 2 but he got better

I was 4 months pregnant when he got a promotion so he had a greater distance to travel so has reverted back to a teenager almost.

He is always on his phone, watching tv or asking what for dinner.

Tell him dinner is whatever he makes himself!

You have to stop this now. You are acting like a housekeeper who runs the local bed and breakfast. This will get worse when you have your next baby. You have enabled everything in the household and your husband is sitting pretty as he knows you will do all the household chores because he has got away with it for so long. Just stop. Put yourself first and concentrate on your wellness first. This has to change.

When he asks what’s for dinner your answer should be ‘whatever you’d like to cook’.

He has no respect for you - if he had he wouldn’t sit watching tv while his heavily pregnant partner cleaned the house.

I just wish I could shake off my anger and disappointment.
Maybe i built it up too much in my head and nothing would have lived up to my expectations anyways.

Ps I'm not always such a pushover. It's just because I feel so rubbish right now.
Normally I am very capable.

I sympathise . Get your tree up when you can - it will all be ok .
All I will say is yes your DD11 is too old to be throwing a strop but your post itself comments on her upset at her Dad with his other child and of course you’re soon to have another . Cut her and yourself a bit of slack .

Why in God's name do you want to shake off the anger? Use it to fuel your response and kick the jackass you're married to out of your life! Think about it-you're an indentured servant to him and the children. Why not divorce yours already a single parent!!! Gee what a shock the prince you're married to is divorced!

This is why I'm single. I simply could not cope with the demands of children (permissible at times, told off when it crossed the line)
But the pathetic ness of a man who added to my stress, rather than help out with family life? No thanks. I've gone it alone for the last 6 yrs. So much easier.
Sorry OP. And hugs. You shouldn't be going through this.

Your dd has a huge amount to deal with cut her some slack.
Plus the tension in the house

Dont cut your dh any slack
He gets on with housework or you hire in someone to do it.