Do I try counselling? How do you start?

[wherewouldistart]

This might be long and I'm not sure where to start.

I guess, the long and short of it is, I don't like myself much right now. I have my good points, I think. I believe I'm quite a decent mum and sister. I used to be a good friend, but I'm failing massively there too, lately.

I have done a number of things I'm ashamed of in this life. All of them when drunk, so I know that's definitely something to address.

But, I think what I'm really here for is to ask if I need some kind of counselling to figure out some crap in my life and work out if that's why I get in the state i do and make the shit decisions that I do. Or is that me looking for excuses? I've considered it a few times over the years, but never acted on it, because I wouldn't know what to focus on, or whether I just am who I am.

I can't quite imagine how to start with a counsellor or therapist. I was taken to family counselling and also an intro singular session as a teen (one adult present) but we/I never went back. I certainly didn't want to.

What what would I ask for? I can imagine just bursting into tears as soon as I opened my mouth, apologising, and leaving, to be honest. No one can change my past, the choices I've made. I know I have things to be thankful for. So is there any point?

Anyone?

I know this is Relationships, but there wasn't a Counselling sub forum.

Yes yes and yes some more
Counselling is amazing and I highly recommend everyone should see someone
There is a great website, can't remember the name, but if you just google 'find a counsellor' you then basically put in your postcode/whether you want male or female/age/what you think you might want to chat about and it'll bring you a list of people up/their price etc
Please please don't worry that you don't know where to start or what to talk about. They will! They will be able to guide you and allow you to open up

Look at charity's that might help with any condition you may have . Google
You can ask your gp .
Self refer to you mental health team Google again
Or google counselling in your area .
Then make appointment with them and see what they offer .
You dont have to go with 1st one you see .

It's definitely something worth trying. You just talk about whatever is on your mind. Anything that's bothering/worrying you.
However, not all counsellors are good. I had one terrible one. But then I found a good one. I went in, cried and talked for an hour, and left, every time.
In my experience they don't give advice or answers, they try to encourage and allow you to find your own answers. Good luck OP

Thank you both for replying.

I have googled for my area, but I still just have no idea what to say, and if I'm wasting my time.

I just want to be a decent person, and while I think I do need a little help to get over some things, I know the two aren't necessarily linked.

Do I just tell them that and they start at the very beginning of my life??

Yep, they will ask you what you’d like to achieve from counselling and to tell them about yourself. The first session is basically getting to know one another and see if you’re a good fit (because you may not get on with them or they may feel they want to refer you elsewhere).

I didn’t think I had too much to talk about, turns out I was wrong.

Like the first poster, I honestly would recommend therapy to pretty much everyone.

Okay, thank you. I'm quite emotional and I am worried that if I start to open up/cry, that I won't stop. And then on the other hand, I don't know what to say.

I'll give it some more thought though.

Thank you.

Good luck. I think that you feel you may not stop crying is a good sign that you’d likely benefit from some therapy! As I said though I’d honestly recommend it to everyone.

I am a counsellor and psychotherapist. The concerns you have about either becoming overwhelmed or not knowing what to talk about are very common, in fact I’d go so far as to say they are universal. A good counsellor will be able to listen to you and respond appropriately in either situation.

Go to the BACP website and use the find a therapist option. Don’t worry too much about their orientation or style of working at this point. Just make initial appointments with 2 or 3 and see who you feel most comfortable with. As @Minnie747 said you need to meet them and together you can assess whether you are a good fit for one another. The quality of the connection (the therapeutic alliance) between the counsellor and and the client is the most important thing in counselling so you might need to see a few before you settle down with someone.

Good luck.