My husband and I were together for 26 years. We have 2 fantastic children. We've had our moments over the years but always over come hurdles like lack of money and difficulties conceiving our children.
3 years ago my husband changed, there were lots of things he was saying and doing that just weren't him. Around this time there was a new colleague at his work. I also changed role which my husband says he didn't have a problem with as I now have a higher income than him. I also had to support my mum after a life changing heart attack.
Any way, my husband started spending a lot of time with this colleague and trying to hide it. He would pick arguments to go and see them. He has claimed that they are just friends who get on.
He moved into their spare room in April. He claims that there is nothing going on between them. He tells me that he wants to be at home with his family but that I pushed him out of the door as I am controlling and make him feel like shit.
Everyday he still wants to talk to me and never about our children. I get texts about he misses and loves me and doesn't want to do further damage with more arguments. He is happy and chatty. When he gets back to where he is living if I need to speak to him about anything it's like I'm talking to a different person. He shouts and swears and blames me for the fact that he's living in what he calls a shit hole.
I just don't understand why he treats me like this when he is where he wants to be. He has his spare time, his money, the person he tells me that he gets on So well with. I've not been unreasonable asking for much support other than his bills for things I can't cancel and a little maintenance.
I have been left running a house, a demanding job, looking after the children. All while just feeling a little overwhelmed and spinning from the changes in him and how he can go from being talkative and the person I know to someone who thinks it's ok to shout, swear and call me names whilst in ear shot of the person he's now living with. I also have him giving me a hard time if I talk about my job or my colleagues whether they are male or female. I get told my job has turned me into a control freak, pushed him away and made my children not like me.
He's said that he worries about leaving the children with me as I'm not stable but in the next breath says how happy the children are and I'm doing a fantastic job.
He tells me that I need to move on but then says that he can't see a time without me. If I want to do anything away from the children he makes a fuss over sitting with them but gets annoyed if I ask anyone else to sit with them.
Just feeling a bit done in really and could do with hearing that it's not always going to be like this and he'll stop with the head fucks soon.