Rude to politely decline this holiday ?

[Ladykady]

It's a colleague who's asked me*to go abroad for a week, she's early 20s and i'm late. I am flattered that she has asked me to go but i'm just worried how it would work out as we are so different.

I am teetotal but she is a massive party animal (not said in a derogatory way as she is a very nice person).
She is the type who wants to be out every night drinking and getting with men, get in at 5,sleep and then do it all again.
I'm more of an athletic type and would rather be up early running. I do like going out dancing and I'm not a 'settled' type at all but i've always been like that.

She is also very bad with money and has asked me a few times to lend her £20, so i'm not sure how that would play out on the holiday.

I really hope this doesn't come across that I see myself as superior in any way because she is a great person, i'm just really not a drinker/hard partier.

Ive thought of saying I just cannot afford it but I know it's not good to lie (even if i'm not exactly rolling in money !)

I'm just worried it won't be as enjoyable for both of us as we have very different ideas.

What would others do ?

Just say no, believe me! I have in recent years had two holidays with friends that turned out very hard- one rather like your pal but with reserves of puppyish enthusiasm and risk taking that made the whole thing exhausting as I felt I had to.look after her constantly and one who turned out to be a bit of a bully on her own turf. The first, we laugh about it now but the second, I have no desire to speak to her again. Little differences magnified by the proximity. Honestly, you can see what would happen and have a perfect excuse, for all she knows you could need a new boiler or something.

"I'd really annoy you on a holiday - I like to have a good night's sleep then get up early and do things all day."

Say to her your ideal holiday would be a walking holiday where you get up at dawn and walk twenty miles to the next town. Should you go ahead and book it for both of you? You won't hear another word about a holiday.
I've no idea why anyone would want to be so snide about it. What's wrong with just asking straight what kind of holiday she has in mind? If she says 'lots of partying' then you can say, equally straight, that those aren't the kind of holidays you're keen on, but thanks so much for asking, and if she ever fancies anything quieter/walking, sightseeing etc, let you know.

Oh, go! Then you can have a thread on your awful holiday.

@swedish edith 😂😂 I asked and explained that she's happy to do a bit of both which is nice she's willing to compomise. Still not sure though, I think if it were a group holiday it would be different but not keen on the idea of just me and her, i'm also quite introverted and reckon she would get bored with me because I hate having to be 'on' and chatty all the time.

But i'm sure she will find somebody to go with.

It's also speaking from experience. About 3 years ago we went to visit a friend who lived abroad and stayed in a hotel.
She's another who can get by on 5 hours sleep, she was also happy to buy a big pack of biscuits and walk around for 10 hours in the sun just eating that !
I came back feeling like i'd been on a week in Kavos, not refreshed at all

In that case just say no. You don’t have to give a reason. “Thanks for asking me, I have thought about it and have decided to decline. I’m sure you’ll have lots of interest from your other friends”.

You know in your gut that you don’t want to do this. So why were you unable to just say “No” - now with your inauthentic response you have opened up a discussion about different types of holidays and this will be harder to close down now.

So set yourself a development goal - shut it all down firmly right now. You don’t need reasons or excuses - you have no obligations to a random colleague - ask yourself why doesn’t she have her own friends of her own age out of work to go with? Maybe because she is an intolerable, money borrowing, selfish, risk taking arse??