Has going no contact ever reignited a relationship for anyone?

[grecianurn82]

My girlfriend dumped me a few days ago after a two year relationship. I'm struggling to understand because one day things were fine, we were making plans for the next few weeks then the next day she dumped me out of the blue by text.
There was no argument, we love each other and get on great, she agreed with me when I said that to her. She has a lot of external (family) stuff going on which has put considerable pressure on the relationship and I think she partly ended the relationship because she felt guilty and thought I deserved better. She alternates between telling me this is the reason and saying shes just not happy in the relationship but cant articulate why.

She wants to stay friends but I dont know if I can, I know I'd want more than friendship. I'm considering going NC for a while to give her some space to figure out whether she really wants the relationship finished. I hate the idea of it because for the last two years we've been in contact throughout every day. Part of me thinks that's just selfish though and that I should stay friends with her and support her through the other stuff she has going on. Anyone have any advice? It's all I can think about the last couple of days and its driving me mad.

NC isn’t a method of reigniting a relationship. It’s to give you space and time to get over it. Of course she wants to stay friends, that way she keeps the “best” bits of you without any of the responsibility. I find it quite selfish when people do that, because of course you will be hoping you get back together. You need to do what’s best for you. Don’t make your decision based on what you think will win her back, only heartache lies that way. She’s ended it and you need to come to terms with that. As tempting as ongoing contact is, I do think you would delay your own healing by doing that. If you go NC then yes in the beginning it will be all you can think about, but over time you will find you can focus on other things and forget about it for a while. Until you barely think of her at all.

she partly ended the relationship because she felt guilty and thought I deserved better.
shes just not happy in the relationship but cant articulate why.

It is going nowhere. Go NC, grieve the relationship, get over it and move on.

She finished with you. You would like to get back together. Staying friends may very well suit her but it's salt in your wounds and keeps you hanging on.

I'd say it was best to go cold turkey for a few months. You need that emotional space to let go and recalibrate your life.

The best way to remain friends in the long run is to have a proper break from each other and move on with your lives separately first.

Yes go no contact until you have got your own life and aren't missing her by which point you probably won't even want to have a friendship. I think NC is the only way to move on.

Yes going NC reignited a relationship wit an ex. But it's not the same and I think it was best left where we ended it. The reasons we ended didn't disappear.

Thanks for all the replies. I've decided not to stay friends, I'd find it too difficult. I'm so upset we're over, the relationship itself was great, she just has so much other stuff going on right now that I think she just can't figure out how to fit a relationship into it. I'd nearly rather we had a big row or just weren't getting on, it would be easier to accept I think.

It is tough OP. Keep reminding yourself that it will pass. You’ll get through it and in the meantime the only thing to do is keep busy, keep your mind off it and not allow yourself to dwell on it too much.

I think the best chance of being friends long term is actually to go NC now. You need time to get over it properly before you can become friends. So really, you will only have a chance of being friends when you reach the point where it doesn't matter to you if you are friends or not.