going on a break

[Totallylost89]

Have any of you ever had a temporary break from a partner, and it helped to repair the relationship? How long did you go on a break for?

Me and my partner initially wanted a permanent break up, but have since decided we really miss each other and that we feel our relationship is salvageable.
However, he’s now signed a 6 month contract for a tenancy so he’s stuck there now. So we’re sort of together, but living apart for a while.

Could this work?!

Poor little anjumm, don't you know trolls are supposed to argue on Facebook now?

To OP, if you think a long distance relationship can work why not try that?

What were your issues to make you split up?

I think you have to genuinely reflect on the reasons why you broke up and whether those issues can be resolved. Missing an ex is really common but doesn't always mean getting back together is the right choice in the long term.

How do you feel about being long distance? When you say "on a break" have you agreed clear boundaries about what that means in terms of fidelity?

The tenancy agreement might be a blessing in disguise. Why don't you try to date and take it slowly?

It can work however it depends on whether the issues previously can be resolved and both of you have truly decided to work on yourselves.

If it helps. My sister had a break from her partner
They split for a few weeks. She was devestated but they resolved their differences and have been married for over 10 years and very happy.

Wrote down the issues that made you split, also wrote down your expectations. If these aren't met then really stop and move on. However it's so tough of you love someone.

Good luck x

A six month period living apart whilst seeing if the relationship is indeed salvageable sounds a great way forward.

Wow! Thank you for reporting whatever that comment was.

The reasons for breaking up:

• Petty arguments which over time started to really grind us both down.
• Disagreements about what we spend money on.
• He has a drinking problem. This is definitely something I would want him to resolve if we ever moved back in together.
• His family are hard work.
• He can be quite emotionally draining. Not being interested in the kids as much as he should.
• This is my issue and I know I’m being unreasonable, but I find him playing on video games childish.

• This one is the one that could end up being the one that cancels out any chance of us getting back together, but he says he wants a sex change. I can’t be with someone who wants that, but if he realises it’s not what he wants then the other things above can be worked on.

Since he moved out he’s been constantly texting me saying he doesn’t like his flat, so on my part there is a huge amount of guilt too.

Even leaving aside the small issue of a sex change, you have some very fundamental differences there.

Living separately is definitely a good thing. Especially as you have children. He should not move back in until you are sure the relationship has been salvaged. Don't mess them around.

I agree I don’t want to make any more decisions now until we are absolutely certain.