Length of relationship..

[Snowfalling12]

Didn’t want to derail another thread. Similar theme: would it bother you if a 45 year old man had never had a relationship longer than just over 2 years? No kids.

At 45 maybe not but at 55 yes !

It’s hard to say on this information alone.

Has it been a few relationships that have not lasted? Why did they end? Have they always lived on their own?

As with any relationship you’d have to get to know them and make up your mind from there.

I don't know about the other thread, so I would say yes it would bother me

I'm in a new relationship, I'm late 40s and he is 51. He has had LTR many years ago, but never lived with them and after that a few short term relationships. He just said he didn't seem to connect with them in the way he expected. He's never been horrible or derogatory about exes either.

He told me that a few years ago he had come to the conclusion he was going to stay single and became comfortable with his life. I see nothing wrong in that because I identity with it. After I came out of a LTR I had also consciously decided I was going to stay single for the forseeable future. I honestly never thought I would meet anyone who would fit the very stringent criteria I'd put in place - I actually thought nobody would ever fit it and had carried on being single quite happily.

My new man is very loving, kind and open. He may not have kids but he adores his nephews and god children. He said he would have loved to have kids, but never met the right person. I'm kind of glad he doesn't have kids either! My DC are now independent so I am often free to do what I like. I've witnessed how often with other friends have had complications with step-children too.

So there we were, 2 people reticent to get into a relationship and we met by total accident. It's still early days for us, but we are a good fit and connect on many levels. He says he regrets not meeting me years ago and I feel likewise. If I discounted him on the fact he's never been married or had kids, it would be pretty shallow of me to do so. I do think you have to go on individual circumstances. There are other factors to take into consideration IMO.

Maybe he wasnt happy to compromise with someone who wasnt right for him . From what you say trust your heart and give it a go. You may both be the one each other has been waiting for. If later down the line you have doubts then listen to your head . I would certainly give it a chance. Best of luck .

No, depends on the circumstances. I agree with @PinkMonkeyBird x

Some people don't have relationships and that's their choice. But for someone who had not had a proper relationship to then go looking for one, would make me think there was something about them that couldn't do it long term.

Yes, not everyone wants a relationship and that’s fine, but I would assume that by 45, if you wanted one, you would have had a serious long term relationship. Unless there was something about your lifestyle or personality that made that difficult. That would give me pause unless there was a pretty good explanation for it.

That’s what I would have thought-that by 45 there must be possibly an issue of committing to a long relationship or something about lifestyle that doesn’t make it possible.