Moving into people's personal space

[Cautious42]

Name changed as its related to real life situation.

Just curious: does anyone here tend to move into the personal space of people other than close friends/family sometimes including touching on the arm, etc? If so, when and why? Is it just that you're naturally a touchy-feely person? Or that some people make you comfortable? Or that you feel its a good way to make someone feel better by doing so?

I've read too many articles saying its a sign that someone fancies you, however I'm sure that's not the case in my situation. This is someone I speak to often in their professional capacity (not a doctor or anything medical/counselling related or anything that requires them to get close, e.g. hairdressers - there's absolutely no reason why we couldn't keep a healthy distance and did so until the last fortnight) so it could be related to that, however its not behaviour that comes or seems natural to me. I guess I'm trying to work out if other people are just naturally more touchy-feely or likely to lean into personal space when talking so I can stop seeing it as something I feel is odd.

Just to add, I have to be honest and admit I have a slight crush on this person. That said, despite being single I'd be mortified if they found out so have tried to keep it buttoned up. If anything, I'd be likely to be moving away from them rather than toward them!

Why wouldn't you want them to know that ou fancy them? is it a colleague, or are you scared of getting involved with anyone? He may have sensed that you fancy him (some people are very good at it) so is trying to draw you out of your shell, and maybe plans to ask you out.

@CatAndHisKit - they're in a relationship. Not married and no kids, admittedly but still with someone and living together. No idea if they're ecstatically happy or on the rocks.

The person's DD's teacher (I know... I know... ) which adds a whole other level of awkward.

Teachers tend to be touchy and its kind of assurance because you link is a child.. with body signs its noy 1 thing it has to be ao many things and only to you. He probably just touchy.. it depends also on the context

Who's doing the touching, here?

there's absolutely no reason why we couldn't keep a healthy distance and did so until the last fortnight) so it could be related to that

I’m a bit confused-what happened a fortnight ago?

@PicsInRed: Them - but only the once, just a brief touch on the arm when discussing various school forms that need to be completed for DD.

@fedup21: nothing overt AFAIK. Until then we'd just discussed everything in the usual manner. Then we had that discussion I mentioned above where we were then talking in each others personal space. Just put it down to them wanting to appear considerate, put me at ease, etc... (probably used to parents getting wound up all the time!). But after that, when we bump into each other and talked again they put themselves straight into that personal space, so we're talking to each other only a few inches from each others face. No touching since, though.

@Pearlbarleynecklace Thanks! That's the kind of thing I was after and makes sense. If you've been dealing hands-on with small kids all day, I imagine you probably end up carrying some of that over into your interactions with adults too come home time!

Ah right! See OP I was agonising over something similar a while ago. A man I had a crush on and came to talk to (albeit he has had a drink but a big social greoup around), I was just doing a polite chat and he stepped in literally a few inches away face to face, just like you describe. Also in a relationship at that point but not married.

This ridiculously got my hopes up as I'd never do that unless I STRONGLY fancied someone. I felt quite awkward but there was no space to step back .

But after that long-ish chat and him looking at me when I was walking away, guess what - I was hoping for moths that he likes me / not happpy with gf, and guess what, nothing ever happened!

I then though what a foold I was and realised that in his profession he is used to come in very close proximity to people/women and for him it's no big deal. I saw him much later being quite touchy with colleagues - obvs I was new to him but he didn't touch me, it's just that face to face stuff and very lengthy eye contact. Don't get seduced and then stuck in a crush for ever like I did, unless a person acts, either initiates or readily responds to your asking then out, don't get hopeful at all.

Touchy is probably just being nice. In a relationship so maybe you should leave them to it. You have a crush - it can be fun, nothing goes wrong because it is all fantasy, but don't pursue it - find a guy of your own.