Marriage breakdown

[Yell123]

Hi, new on here, going to be very basic with this just really want some advice. So me and my huaband been on the rocks this last year, i have got to the point where my feelings have changed, its been this last few days that decision making needs to be done so tonight we talked i told him i cant see us working but hate what its doing to him, he had a couple bottles of wine and we started arguing again he said some horrible things so i got in car and went for an hour, come back and he had locked the door he eventually came down and opened it, he kept sayin things but was gettin mad he has never ever done this before but he grabbed me by my hoodie neck and chucked me to the ground was screaming at me to get out then he come out and apologised and i came back in but then he got wound up again amd this time threw me across the room and pinned me against the door, it was horrible but after a bit he was so sorry, i know he didnt mean to do it he just so upset about how our marriage is basically over, i feel partly responsible i told him i wouldnt tell anyone and that i know he is a good man this has never happened before, it has left me in shock though, do i stay or leave?

It'll only get worse. Now he's started and there were no consequences.

Make your plan and leave asap.

This won't have come out of nowhere and he didn't do it because he was drunk, he's used drinking as an excuse to attack you.

You're in an abusive relationship which has escalated to physical violence. I have no doubt that there are lots of other abusive behaviours in the relationship that you aren't aware of.

There's something called the Cycle of Abuse and you are in the reconciliation phase where he's said sorry and then you will move into the 'honeymoon' phase where everything seems really good but tension will start to build again.

Abusers don't like to lose control and he's losing control by you discussing leaving the relationship. That has no doubt tipped him into violence. You are at most risk when you leave.

I recommend that you contact Women's Aid as soon as you can. They have a 24/7 advice line 0808 2000 247 and can talk you through what's happened and give you advice and information. You can also contact your local DV organisation here who may also be able to support you.

If your partner attacks you again or if you feel threatened please dial 999 immediately.

I also recommend that you get a solicitor trained in DV. You can find one here. The ones trained in DV have a purple ribbon beside their name.