STBXH - departed 1,6 years. Previous threads on out “ birds nest” arrangement where he visits my young kids at home ,‘one with asc.
If I am angry or visibly frustrated when coping alone all week and then accommodating him at weekends he then starts talking about how he just wants to get on with divorce and see his kids and everything is my fault etc etc. Called me a cunt in front of my kids as we were arguing, I’m ashamed but my son had insisted I go out with them in car ( hard to understand unless you understand asc) and I was exhausted and frustrated and got Crisis’s with him.
If I am nice and accommodating and not angry he makes comments about how nice I look.
He sent me flowers today as it was my daughters birthday.
He came to house - all had nice time. Huge effort on my part as children unwell. I then said “ goodbye to daddy” etc to draw an boundary. I thenMake mistake of texting to thank him for flowers.
Texts followed1:you deserve them.
- I’m so low and so horny. I tell him I’m not interested in him being horny and it makes me feel the nice things he has said and flowers are not genuine.
I then get a barrage of texts about how genuine he is and how he won’t lmention anything sexual “ henceforth”
3 to please let him know about my child’s illness ( have been telling him all week how he is) and that I am not to text him before he arrives about anything as he will not be given orders etc ) with my autistic son things change moment and moment and with a 2 year old things also happen last minute and if I talk to him about kids’ needs once he arrives he gets angry!?🤷🏻♀️)
I texted him to say that I am
Exhausted and he knows the kids are sick Etc and apparently I deserve flowers but not to have an evening free of texts like this trying to make me feel bad!?
I get awful anxiety when these texts come through. I want to get on for my kids but I find him so difficult to manage. What is going on here please? How do I manage this? I’m damned if I’m angry and I’m damned if I’m nice and normal.