Dating whilst ill. What’s the etiquette?!

[MustardScreams]

I’m 30 and have been single for 3 years with 1 dd (2.10).

I have breast cancer, starting a chemo regime after xmas, just to mop up cells after poor margins in lumpectomy and rads. I shouldn’t lose my hair, or be totally wiped out due to the short time I will be receiving chemo.

Would you still date? I don’t feel ill, obviously this may change after Xmas. But positivity and all that! I want to make life as normal as possible, and I like dating! Gets me out of the house and gives me something else to think about.

Keeping it quiet is ok isn’t it? Unless things progress obviously. I just don’t know wether it’s ok to date when I have this going on! Not sure why I’m so unsure

I dated a guy with non Hodgkins Lymphoma for about 18 months. I found out on about the 3rd date because I noticed he had swollen glands (I’m a dr) and I mentioned it. He was in remission at that point. He relapsed while we were dating and had a successful stem cell transplant (and is happily married with kids now, not to me). I don’t think you need to announce it on the first date, but date 3 or 4 if you think you might get to date 10 then you probably should. If your date likes you I don’t think it will make any difference.

@shoebedobedobedobedoo how did he bring it up? That’s what I’m most worried about! “Oh btw I have cancer. Another wine?”

Of course you should still date if you want to! You are a human being who is unwell for want of a better term, not an infectious zombie or some sort of rabid beast! You don't have to tell anyone you date, if you choose to and it puts them off then they're not the one for you (to put it very politely) and you move on.