How does your partner make you feel appreciated

[anothernamejeeves]

For the hard work you do so for instance if you always go the extra mile sorting bills, finding the best holidays, sorting kids birthday etc. Unless of course they do it. A conversation with a friend just got me thinking I've never received a shred of gratitude

My husband always says thank you for anything I do for him, like cooking dinner, even when its just putting it in the oven.
Does your partner never thank you? Not good

Says Thank you and I appreciate you doing x/y/z.

Mutual respect and not taking each other for granted.
Always

DH and I thank each other for most stuff, cooking dinner, cleaning, ironing etc. (Yes, we say thank you a lot, it takes a second to acknowledge someone else's effort, we're a polite household) Mostly tiny little things, so today I put DH's slippers on the radiator before he came in from work. He'll run me a bath, or cook food he knows I like, or find something good for us to watch. So not huge or expensive gestures, but it's always been important not to take each other for granted.

He tells me how much he loves me. He sends me sweet texts through the day when he’s at work. He offers to help where he can. He works his bollocks off to provide us with a lovely life and never begrudges me anything. He’s kind, loyal and when he looks at me I see warmth and feel loved.

About 14 years ago I came downstairs one morning to a beautiful bouquet and platinum and diamond earrings which matched a bracelet he'd bought me a couple of years before. His mum had died suddenly a few weeks before and I had done a lot to make sure his dad was ok once he'd gone back to work. I did it because I loved his dad and wanted to make sure he was ok.
We have had many crisis since then and don't even get a thank you these days. Often a criticism about how I could have done things differently or "better".
It's not about gifts but I'm fed up treading on eggshells so we are separating in a few weeks. All quite amicable and it's a blessed relief!

Thanks me, appreciates me, is considerate and kind. Dd said recently “daddy adores you and thinks a lot about what will make you happy” and she’s right, he does. And vice versa.

1. Every single morning he brings me tea in bed.
2. If I am feeling poorly, he gets child's meals and gets them off to school. He works full time I am a SATM.
3. He buys me flowers regularly and tells me he loves and appreciates me and thinks I am a great wife and Mum.
4. He regularly organises a weekend away for just us and pays my older son to do childcare for weekend.
5. He looks at me adoringly.
6. He struggles to ever say no to me, so I get almost everything I want.
7. He has always treated my 2 sons as his own.
8. He never grudges me time to go to see my family or friends without him.

He tells me every day that he is lucky and grateful. Sometimes buys flowers, gives me neck rubs.

Nothing in fact i just brought us take away for a treat he kicked off because he wanted kebab and walked out

Im unwell got the flu and got 2 dcs who need bath and bed and he has walked out again to his mums

Arsehole

I get very few thanks which aren't based on my bringing up the subject of being thanked.

He takes me for granted and if my job goes in the right direction he may find himself very single.

When i make him dinner i get "thank you, its so delicious" "i love your cooking, its better than my mums (His other favourite chef)" then he runs off to do all the washing up once he's finished.
He isnt great at buying gifts or flowers but he does say and do the right things.

I told him earlier I felt lonely and that I was shouldering the burden of everything. He gave me a nice hug and a kiss. Then I remembered he's had a terrible cough and cold all week

OP maybe you should talk to your husband about it. Could he possibly feel unappreciated too, and so is taking you for granted because he’s resentful? There might be some things you could both do to feel more appreciated. Some men won’t change without being told explicitly, please do x, y, z to make me feel more appreciated.

We grunt at one another occasionally.

Oh cross post- it’s good you told him how you’re feeling.

I get thank you.

I work at the weekends.. so he will make my breakfast, iron my work clothes and sort my lunch. He takes me to work... picks me up... unless I drive but that depends on the work location.

He will rub my feet and back when I ask... feet sometimes I don't need to ask he will get the hot water in the foot spa thing and give them a scrub.

He folds and puts the clothes away. I do the washing and drying... doesn't seem like much but I hate putting laundry away.

He is always encouraging me to go after my dreams... in fact he will actively encourage I go to cpd events etc. I went to my job interview only because of him ( I have depression/anxiety) the morning of, I didn't want to get out of bed... he drove to my interview.

Hugs and kisses... and I get cups of hot chocolate in the evenings.