Partner with mental health issues

[Losingtheplotalready]

Hi, I have been married for 8 years with two kids now. In the last three years my husband has gone downhill into depression, anxiety and alcohol Dependency.
He absolutely refuses to get help.
I still love him but the man he was is gone. I'm confused and feeling guilty but I feel like his behaviour is so destructive for my kids to witness. I don't want to break up the family but I don't want my kids to turn round later in life and say his behaviour ruined their childhood and they didn't have a good role model
Not sure what to do. I know I didn't cause the problem and I can't fix it. I'm just so tired of being treated like dirt. Life's much happier when he's not around but I promised in sickness and in health.
Where do you draw the line? The only thing that matters to me is what's good for my children.

Any Adult Child will tell you how a parent's alcohol dependence ruined their childhood.

If the children are the only reason you're staying with an alcoholic, then I can assure you, they're better off in a stable, calm environment with a parent they can rely on and trust.

I don't want my kids to turn round later in life and say his behaviour ruined their childhood and they didn't have a good role model

I think you have hit the nail on the head here. Seems you already know what’s best for your children.

I know marriage is in sickness and in health, but that’s the sickness and health of both. Marriage is a team effort. Both parties need to put the effort in, otherwise it just doesn’t work.