Breaking point with partner!

[kerryanna98]

Hi ladies, I'm not going to bore you with my entire relationship because it's not always awful but it's certainly not great!
My partner doesn't seem like he loves me really atall, by the remarks he makes and the comments. Last night I said instead of buying presents shall we book a cheap little get away after Christmas and we will get my mum to have our baby so we can have a break together. He replied saying it will be shit and he wants to go to Japan so he can drive the cars... I just want a cheap little getaway, he said all I want to do is stay at home and eat anyway because I'm a fat c**t! I felt like someone just ripped my heart out. All the worry I'm going through at the moment, growth scans for our little girl the lot and he says that to me. He's never told me since we've been together I look nice, or made me feel good about myself.. I'm stuck in a rut at the moment, I cannot financially cope without him. I genuinely do not want to eat around him and I'm trying to fill my face as much as I can whilst he's at work today. I'm so stuck until my baby arrives in a few weeks:( x

Jesus, he called you a fat cunt, which is unacceptable at the best of times but you're heavily pregnant?

Do you have someone you can stay with? Family? You need to get away from this man,

Yes then called me unreal when I told him to fuck himself! I have family but I really don't want to leave my home when my baby could be here next week due to being induced. I need him for the next month else I'm going to be in arrears with rent and all bills! This sucks x

Ffs the more I read on here the more glad I am that I’m single.
I’m sorry you’re going through this especially when you’re heavily pregnant. I don’t know what else to say? Leave him? Poison his tea?
Seriously need to think about how this is going to pan out, you only get one life.

He doesn't seem to care about your feelings the way he speaks to you does he. Calling you names is a distinct lack of respect, contemptuous and very unkind.

Do your arguments normally go this way? Do you speak to each other like this or is it one way from him? If it's the latter you are right, you need to get out of this relationship as he's not respecting you. Are you able to go to your mum's to think about what you want to do?

I'm aware I need to leave him. Leaving right now isn't an opinion though, he won't pay anything deliberately and I cannot risk losing mine and my little girls home. As from next month I'm entitled to help with rent and bills etc so until then I'm pretty screwed! I'll never get a council place again if I mess this one up!

Last night I caught him just starring at me, my hairs shoved back in a mess, I'm pale white, no makeup on at the moment and the looked away and thought "bet he's thinking how revolting I am". It breaks my own heart that I've ended up with someone like this😒

You are nearly 9 months pregnant carrying HIS child and he called you a fat cunt!!!
WOW!
That is horrendous.
But you know that.
Are you renting?
Do you pay the rent and bills?

If he "won't pay anything" and it's your tenancy, can you tell him to leave?

Don't put him on the birth certificate.

Get onto CMS for child maintenance as soon as the baby is born (it's not dependent on the BC).

They pay £589 a month and out of that I have to pay £512 rent a month. My partner pays the bills and shopping from the income he has coming in. I cannot physically leave him right now until I have a new claim set up and my finances are sorted. I'd rather bite my tongue for a month until I know my home is secure for me and my baby and then I want him gone, sounds harsh but this is his baby too. Once I pay my rent on the 9th that leaves me with £77 to last me until January the 9th! I cannot physically do it with a baby x

I need him here to cover it else I'll be in arrears, my council work it so you are in 1 months arrears when you move in anyway! So I'll have court letters etc and it's not really worth it! I might aswell bite my tongue for the next month, let him bond with his daughter and then make sure he leaves and finds himself somewhere suitable for our child too. This is a ballache, he doesn't even have a clue that on Monday I was screaming and crying on my kitchen floor with 20 antibiotics on the side I was about to take! I've rang up my doctors and I've got appointments and they are putting me back on medication, he does not have one fucking clue! I don't even want to tell him I'm struggling with depressions at the moment in case he thinks I'm weak 😒

sorry for your situation. i think you are right about what you need to do. in the meantime can you get support from your family?

he sounds horrible.

your gp may help with depression?

Can you talk to your midwife too, there may be other help and support she can connect you with. It's a really vulnerable time for you this close to birth and when the baby arrives. I hope you can kick him to the kerb soon. No one deserves abuse like that

Thankyou. At this stage of my life, growing a little human all I want is to be able to confined in someone, feel love and open up about anything.. I've not had these opportunities. In fact, I'd say my depression has took its toll the last month or so because of his attitude towards me, he acts like he hates me x

I don't even think I want him at my baby's birth our relationship has got way too much for me! He's got two previous kids so he's seen it. I don't actually think I'd feel comfortable knowing he's watching. Everything our baby needs I'm worried he's going to judge me for doing it wrong because again he's already got two previous. Suppose to be the best time of my life this was x

It's very common for abuse to ramp up or start when the woman is pregnant OP. It seems as though he doesn't like you having opinions and is trying to destroy your self esteem.

Have you contacted Women's Aid? 0808 2000 247 The number is 24/7
You could contact Gingerbread regarding your housing situation 0808 802 0925
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Tuesdays/Thursdays/Fridays: 10am to 4pm
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