Is this really only DH's business?

[OrmIrian]

DH is a carpenter who is more or less permanently sub-contracted to one company all the time. But sometimes he does private jobs as well. Today he has taken a day off to fit a garden door into his sister's kitchen. Just rang me and told me he'll be there most of the evening because it's proved harder than he thought. We discussed the money side of it before but DH now reckons he shouldn't ask his sister for money as it's family. I reckon that is stupid - we are always broke and he's lost a reasonable amt on money by not working today and he'll probably have to return at the weekend to finish off. We have just about emptied the coffers with our holiday and we have MOT and tax coming up - and I don't think he can start making generous gestures which will affect all of us. He says it's his business and not mine but as we had to take on a loan a few years ago to pay off his overdraft I don't think that it can be just his business. Or am I being just too hard-nosed?

I'm with you - even if he doesn't charge her the "full" rate - I think he should still ask for something for it

Well, I wouldn't charge a close family member for doing some work. On the other hand, it's a bit arsey of him to say that it's his business alone.

I think well family and all that...perhaps they will do you a return favour one day

I guess it depends what the agreement was beforehand? If he'd said he was going to charge her (and told her) then I think he should stick to it..

Ha zippi - she's a relgious school advisor for the Diocese of Bath and Wells . Can't think of anything she could offer to do for us professionally.

If he has taken a day off and his sister knows you are a bit broke at mo then I would have thought she would insist on paying, no? I would. My bro is paying me for some accountancy work that I wouldn't normally charge him for because we are a bit strapped at mo. It can't be HIS business though, that's not fair if you as a family will be more hard up as a result of 'pro-bono' work. Not charging is fine as long as he's not out of pocket because of it, ie not having to give up 'earning' time for it.

I'm sure you're right wisteria. In her shoes I would too. But my fear is that even is she does DH will be all magnanimous and refuse to take it.

I would not charge her.

He should not have taken a day off to do it.

But he did.

It is not his business, you are either a p/ship o you are not.

I contract, I don't work, I don't get paid.

One day in these hols I cocked up my child care. I didn't work and I absorbed the cost

He should absorb this one and be more careful in future.

ormIrian...
think he is being unfair and snappy to you...maybe cause he knows you are right really, its cost alot to do this job, but there is not much he can do about it really...its Family.. unfortunately...

this is what dh does to me when family ring for IT support in precious time off time..

...she could she say a prayer for your finances though...

Make a rule that from now on, if he wants to do free work, he does it in his own time and not time he could be making money for his family. It's not just his business as it impacts on you.

I wouldn't charge a sister for doing something like that. But it is your business as well as his.