Dealing with sociopath co-worker

[Issueswithcolleague]

Name changed for this is case co-worker is on here.

New colleague joined Company 3 years ago. Very capable at her job when she focuses but has to make everything about her which has cost her any credibility in a professional sense. Lots of lying etc & drama. She ticks every box on the description of a sociopath and at the very least is narcisstic.

I nearly quit my job this year as she is so vile. She spread some nasty lies about me, including one that could have got me suspended from work and potentially dismissed. She admitted to our manager that she had lied but said that it was my fault not hers as I didn't trust her (she was having a strop because she found out that I had been to a meeting where something confidential had been discussed and had not told her - no business reason for her to know & I take my integrity seriously). Some of the other things she has said in her one-to-one include telling me that I'm jealous that her bump clearly shows she gets more sex than me, that I must be jealous as I can only produce boys and she is having a girl, asked a colleague if she should report me to social services as my son is forced to walk home on his own fro school (he's 14 & it's 10 minute walk!!)

My boss did NOTHING about this as she said that she had protected characteristics and could not be touched. I went to HR and they said it was my managers decision but that we had to be careful as she could have a tribunal claim if we take any action. If I'm honest, they all know how dangerous she is and are happy it is being directed at me and not them.

Anyway, we have had about 7 months of peace as she has been on mat leave. Office has been a great environment & everyone getting on & supporting each other.

I can't face working with her again as it caused me so much stress and upset (above was tip of iceberg) so resolved to find a new job before she comes back to work. I love my Company and am working on a great project.

She was due back in April but has now announced she is coming back after Christmas. I haven't even started job hunting yet. I ran to the loo & burst in to tears at the news that she is coming back as there is no way I'll get a new job by then & can't afford to be jobless.

I know boss will be no help dealing with her & HR have said that there is nothing they can do if boss isn't prepared to deal with it.

My gut feeling (hope more than anything else) is that she is coming back as her maternity pay has run out. I'm hoping that her plan is to come back for a few days and then go on the sick as she will then get paid. Post-natal depression is the only symptom of maternity she hasn't had yet except pre-eclampsia & only cause you can't fake that!).
However, how do I cope for the next few months with her?

Does anyone have any tips for dealing with a sociopath in the workplace?

I worked with someone very similar - I whistleblew and HR investigated and she got a warning but kept her job and the pychopathic behaviours still continued it got worse tbh. My manager and area manager told us we just had to put up with it.
I found another job and left sharpish - the person remained for another yr or so.It was a mindfuck and I wouldn't wish it on my enemy.

Get out as soon as possible!

Fuck that. I'd wait until she came back and started up her shit again, then with three concrete examples documented to HR I would go out on sick leave for stress. It's no lie - you ARE stressed.

And use the time to job hunt like mad.

Your boss will have to deal with her bullshit then. Ineffectual fucker deserves a bit of what you've had to endure.

You're her manager? I'm really astounded that your company will let this continue, can neither of you be moved to a different position?

Get legal advice from ACAS. Never engage with her one to one. Always have a member of HR present at every meeting. Don’t let this woman beat you out of a job you love. Take every bit of advice you can get on here. I’m wondering if you could go off sick citing mental health due to this woman, protected characteristic right? Go speak to your GP? If you go off sick long term what will your boss do about it? Will he then do something?

Who wants to work for a boss like that. Leaving is your best option.

I had was the boss of someone not dissimilar. They lasted 18 months and despite all the huffing and puffing about unfair dismissal etc it came to nothing as in the end they didn't have a leg to stand on

I think you’ve actually got a case for constructive dismissal here. Ring ACAS or find an employment law specialist for a consultation. I’m thinking that if you do go off sick the day she returns then your boss will have to deal with her and you could use that time to start job hunting

In the meantime get your linked in profile sorted. Get a professional to sort out your CV and sign up to every agency going. You could have another job before Xmas. In fact, call in sick with flu for the rest of this week and get yourself started with job hunting

I don't have much in the way of advice, but remember that women returning from maternity leave often find they are sidelined, first up for redundancy and constructively dismissed. Unless you have a particularly progressive workplace, sexism will reduce her influence, especially if she doesn't have defined working hours (will miss meetings etc).

sounds like you have a really rubbish manager. protected characteristics do not make anyone untouchable. you just need to be able to prove that they aren't being targeted because of their protected characteristic. it isn't her protected characteristics that are the issue here.

@Issueswithcolleague Please seek legal advice from your union/ join a union.

I think the problem is wider than the sociopath, it is to do with the workplace culture and structure which enables her to flourish and carry out her machinations

I would advise seeking legal advice. Your company is not supporting you so you need outside assistance. If you leave your job you will be walking away with nothing. Potentially, if you got yourself signed off with “work stress” by a doctor as a result of this, you would be lining up a claim at tribunal and you might well get something out of it.
The assumption that she has mental health and pregnancy on her side is a false flag: she is no longer pregnant and if you are on stress leave then your MH issues match hers. The company will have to decide who they value more. This is a fact worth knowing.

Speak to a solicitor and remember, how you allow this to unfold will affect you for some time to come. If you passively accept her and the company’s treatment of you so far and meekly walk away, you may forever regret your lack of assertive action and resent yourself for it.

I had no idea that being a cunt is a Protected Characteristic.

Ridiculous behaviour from your HR, they know she's the type to kick up a fuss about a bollocking or official warning.

That's not your problem but I know all involved will make you think it is.

She sounds like a piece of work, I have no useful advice other than to say anyone sensible will see through her. It's just a case of whether they will act on it.

It may come down to choosing between disciplining her or risking a formal complaint and the subsequent consequences from you.

Had a similar issue. But the lady left which made life easier for everyone. It's not nice being in that environment. So I can sympathise with you.

If it were me I'd just leave now. If you stay any longer she may find a way to get you fired, messing up your reference. These sort have a sixth sense for when their time is running out to do that.

You could go yo the doc and see if you can be signed off with anxiety. While you job hunt. But again, don't know how that may affect your reference for the next job.

But certainly don't go back with her there. Not even for a day. Give your notice now.

If money is going to be tight until you find a new job: start looking for other ways to make some in the mean time like selling some things on ebay/borrowing from a parent/taking on a few home cleaning jobs for £10 per hour. Whatever it takes. But don't go back with her there.

Thanks for all your input.

My boss's boss popped in earlier to ask me about something work related. He asked how I was and I'm embarrassed to say that I burst into tears. He was lovely and took me for lunch where we had an unofficial frank & open conversation about what's been going on.

For those of you who called it, I have a boss problem. She would not be an issue if she had been dealt with. Senior manager was horrified about the picking hours & is going to speak to boss about fixed hours on a FWA.

Senior boss has suggested that when she comes back to work I document everything, make a note of all conversations & report to him anything boss doesn't act on as he will follow it up. Senior boss has also suggested that if I'm at breaking point at any point, to call him and work from home.

I felt better after lunch but having read this thread back, think leaving is still the right thing to do. Even with the right support, the next few months are going to be difficult & I know these things are never resolved overnight. Knowing senior manager has my back will help me get through the next few months until the RIGHT job comes up.

I'm going to take on board some of the advice here - no meetings alone with her & everything followed up in an email so no opportunity for 'misunderstandings'.

I'm not the sort to go on the sick & I would worry that it could adversely affect a reference. I'm going out with my head held high.

I will be insisting on an exit interview - looking forward to handing over a grenade with the pin pulled & walking away!

You can always take your phone out and tell her you will video any private chats just so there is no misunderstandings.