So I have been having what would be easily be described as an inappropriate relationship with a man over 30 years older than me at my workplace.
Before I say anything else, I would like to say a few facts about me. I am in my late 20s, and had a hard year. I have suffered a very close bereavement, on medication for anxiety and depression, and I'm trapped in an abusive marriage with a man who makes my life a misery. I have no real family or friends for support. So please be gentle.
The man at work started off being kind and friendly to me, as I was new to the job. I trusted him because he is a manager and has kids my age (how naive I was). It started off as coffees and chats about work, and developed into texting outside of work, which was about work at first. Then we began talking more frequently. I confess it was nice to have someone to talk to, in between getting verbal abuse from my husband and getting anxious over everything.
It then progressed into meeting outside work - I said no several times at first but he would nag me until I gave in. We went for coffees usually. I thought maybe he was lonely and was one of those people who got on better with young people. He is married but I don't know much about his marriage, we never discussed it.
Gradually, he initiated things - he held my hand when I was upset about a close death, but then started holding my hand all the time. He started calling me beautiful, and then even said he was in love with me. I have to admit he has a very good way with words and did make me feel special. Then he started hugging me more and for longer, I always resisted but he would nag me until I gave in. He hugged me and moved his hands down to my bum and another time cupped my breast, I know it wasn't an accident but I was too embarrassed to say anything. I know I am an idiot and should have stopped it, but felt powerless, he kept reassuring me it was ok as we are 'special' friends.
His behaviour also became controlling, he would get jealous when I spoke to other men at work and give me abuse, saying I love male attention and I'm a laughing stock etc. He would nag me to go and spend lunchtimes with him, when I didn't he started to sulk and make me feel bad.
During our last meeting he kissed me, despite me saying many times before I didn't want that. When he did it first I froze, in shock. He then tried again and I struggled but he held me to try and stop me moving before kissing my neck. Afterwards he said I kissed him back and it was 'mutual'. I have avoided seeing him since because I know he will do it again. He said kissing me is beautiful and why should we stop something so enjoyable 
I feel I have come to my senses now and told him I don't want a friendship with anything physical. He is now trying to guilt me, saying he loves me and he doesn't understand why I have changed, that I am a 'special' friend. I said we can still be friends but don't need the rest of it (I have to be civil with him as we work together). He keeps saying he doesn't understand why I have changed and he thought we would be forever, that he loves me, that I'm the best thing in his life etc etc. He keeps saying he has feelings too and should be able to have a say on if things stop, I said no I have every right to stop if I want to, it's not a mutual decision if I don't want someone to touch me?
I'm worried about what he could do to me work wise now I am rejecting him completely. He has a lot of influence. I can't tell anyone about what has happened as firstly, he would be protected as his job is very important in the organisation and second, it would be humiliating for me if people knew. Especially as it will look like I wanted it as I went along with it for too long. I don't want to leave the job but feel I may have to 