Getting it wrong again 🙄

[WideAwakeInTheMiddleOfTheNight]

I've been on a few dates over the last 10 days or so with a friend of a friend. Met on the Friday, saw each other on the Sunday, Wednesday and following Saturday/Sunday - so not excessive

We got on well, things seemed to be progressing appropriately and he seemed keen enough to see me/spend time with me without any red flags etc. Contact was limited to arranging the next date, he was lovely during the dates etc.

I sent him a message on Tuesday afternoon to see if he was free for dinner that night as I was unexpectedly free. He moved a few things around and we went out. Was a lovely evening - we held hands, chatted easily, kissed; it was nice and we started to reveal more personal things about ourselves. We ended the evening having pencilled in seeing each other later in the week.

And then? I sent him a message yesterday and he hasn't replied. Nothing major - just a "hope you're feeling better today" because he'd not been feeling 100% and nothing. Not even a courtesy reply, so he's clearly no longer interested in me.

I can only think that I must have told him something about myself on the Tuesday evening that put him off although, if anything, our conversation flowed more easily and we discovered more things we had in common.

I'm not devastated but I've been single for a long time and he's the only man I've been interested in for a few years really.

I've got aspergers and find relationships difficult and I'm just left, once more, with the feeling that im not good enough for that there is something so fundamentally off putting/unattractive about me that no one would be interested.

My son told me a few weeks ago that my 'quirks' are noticeable but quite endearing so i can only assume he didnt find them endearing once he'd started to notice - although i think I was masking pretty well. I didn't tell him I have AS - it felt too soon for that.

There was there something fairly minor I could imagine he'd have found off putting about me over the weekend but, as he rearranged something to see me on Tuesday, decided it couldn't really be that. Otherwise, he'd have ignored me after that.

I've been told before that I clearly just haven't met the right person yet but I'm 45 and I've never met the right person. I'm beginning to think that there isnt a 'right' person for me - which just makes me sad.

I dont know what I want from this really. I guess I'm just frustrated that I've had it proven to me, yet again, that this is something that isn't for me and likely never will be. And that makes me.sad.

See all these reasons and explanations would make sense for most people but I messaged him the other day and he didn't reply for an hour and a half and, when he did, he apologised for the delay in replying. I wouldn't think anything of that.

I didn't think anything of him not replying until it got to late evening when I knew he'd read it and been online since.

I'll feel a fool if I message and he doesn't reply but equally a fool if I don't message him, it's fairly innocent (i didnt ask him a question so maybe he didnt feel it warranted a response) and I've ruined what could be something good because of it.

Then again, i think most people know that just ignoring someone is bad manners and he's big on good manners!

I might message him now and at least it's done then.

After all, he did say he'd leave it with me to confirm.

Yes I would text him now. I think you need to know if you are not going out tonight as arranged.

Ok. I just asked him to let me know of we're still on for tonight and I'll make other plans if not.
Nothing heavy and no reference to not hearing from him.

Just seems odd that we had a nice time the other evening. Oh well. If not, onwards and upwards I guess...

Thing is - yes ....you might have unusual ways of being human!!. So do I. So does everyone. You might have more unusual ways than some and not as many as others.

If he doesn't want to see you again because of one of your unusual ways - then that IS HIS FAULT. That is HIS BAD. He is to blame for that choice (he's entitled to make the choice but it is HIS CHOICE and therefore his fault)

And that's what I'm trying (badly!!!!!) to say to you

It is not your fault. YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME

In your midday message , did you ask if he was still on for tonight ?

If he has read it and not replied by 3 pm I would forget it .

He's waiting for you to confirm and you haven't yet! So he's probably waiting to see if you'll text about it.

Did he reply? I hope all is well

Thanks all for the sensible words!

He replied and everything is fine. Nothing has changed as far as he is concerned.

Seeing him later.

Excellent news. So pleased for you

Maybe he has stuff he feels he needs to disclose and not a thing wrong regarding yourself.
Have a good time op.

Awh that’s great news! Have fun! Be confident! And don’t underestimate yourself - you seem lovely I’m sure he sees that 👍

Good News , enjoy .

There you go. Nothing wrong with you at all. Have a great evening. Everyone has their own idiosyncrasies it’s what makes us unique.

Thanks. I just worry about it because I know that at times I can be 'too much'and others 'not enough'.

I suppose I just need to worry less!

I think your grand.

I felt like this early on. Try and be positive. You sound lovely