Tips on staying away from a toxic relationship

[Loveabitofrain]

Hi all.

I’ve ended my relationship today.

I’ve been through 4 years of gaslighting, finding messages to other women and emotional abuse. I’m embarrassed to even admit how many women he has messaged. I’ve forgiven way him too many time’s.

Why’s it so hard?!

How do I keep my strength?!

Any tips gratefully received.

Just flip it. If you had been a cheating abuser and some guy was still pining for you you would have no respect for him.

Every time you feel like you want to contact him remember the worst things he did to you and focus on them.

And take The Freedom Program.
freedomprogramme.co.uk/index.php

if you have children, what are you teaching them about how relationships work?

Yeah, good question, why is it so hard for you? What was the reward? What was the high? What's the fix you crave?

Thanks ladies. No children together. Thankfully.

Personally I would educate yourself on the cluster b personality disorders narcissists/psychopaths/ sociopaths as abusers types are usually high in these traits.

Knowledge is power. Watch YouTube channels Inner integration, Sarah speaks, Narc survivor, dr Ramani, Richard Grannon.

Work if you are repeating patterns, drawn to the same Sort of man and if they are like a parent or siblings personality.

Watch out for red flags. Love bombing, future faking, moving forward quickly. Etc

Then work on your self esteem, love yourself more.

You have done the right thing ending a toxic relationship. You gave him several chances to change but he still went on gaslighting ect.
The emotional abuse can be extremely hard to take because you their wondering I am really like what he says I am like or is their something wrong with me. It strips away at your confidence. Often you left fealing that small that you accept any behaviour. Also you feel that if you leave no other man will want you because of all the things he told or said to you.
I would follow the advice given here in the other post's.

I watched a friend of mine getting involved with a man who is toxic. He kept her on the go by telling her things she wanted to hear. Their was always a promise of the things that he was going to do. Meanwhile he either had several woman on the go or a very short period between woman A to B to C.
My friend stood up for him again and again.
Then a few things happened. My friend asked him to meet her one day. He had no idea of the reason why but he canceled meeting her at the last minute. She found out that he told her another pack of lies.
So she put up a nice message on his FB page along with his lady friend FB. Within a few hours she was blocked on both FB pages.

Now a few years later my friend is doing well. She is single but enjoying life. She has good friend's and is working towards her own goals. Her happiness is her own and not dependent on if she has a boyfriend/partner or not.

Toxic man met a woman a few years ago and within a short period of time she was pregnant with his baby. He was delighted when the baby was born but within 12 months him and her had split up. The Christmas after they split up he sent my friend a Xmas card with him and the childs name. My friend sent him a Xmas card back. She told me then does he honestly think I am going to take him on and bring up another woman's child for him?
She since heard a few more things about him that made her realize how much better her life is without him in it.

I've just come out of a similar relationship and I am reading a book called "women who love too much" and I have to say its a game changer, with good advice but also (if you're in to working out what is going on in your brain that keeps you going back) it helps you to realise that you're often pining what you wanted the relationship to be. Not what it really was

Thanks so much. It’s so good to have like minded people to discuss it with.

I’m going to read that book.