Why does everyone always wait for me??

[killerinme]

I'm sick of everyone waiting for to do everything for them and being relied on to organise everything all the time.

My friend told me about a judo place near her for the kids and it sounded good so I took my son along and he really enjoyed it, she said her daughter wanted to go too so I told her it was good and recommended that she try it.

anyway since then she has phoned me on the days its on wanting to meet me half way, when I said I couldnt (was already out) she decided not to go and left it for the next lesson to start! on that lesson I took my son only to get home and see 2 unanswered calls from my friend asking what time I could meet her! when I said i'd already taken him but she still had time to get there (the church is a 2 min walk from her house) she sounded all huffy and said it didnt matter, she would start the week after! this monday she phoned me during the day to find out what time she should meet me...why cant she just go on her own like I had to??

Also, I'm supposed to be going to scarborough on train with my mum on thursday, neither of us know what time the trains are or anything so I said I'd look the timetable up on the net. I did this and reported back the time the train left the station...she then asked how much it is so I told her I didn't know so she asked me to phone the station to ask! I actually forgot to phone them and so the day after she asked again if I'd phoned them and when I said i'd forgot she went in a mood saying "oh, suppose ill have to do it"....well why not?? A few weeks ago I had to phone the bowling place to find out how much it was because she wanted to go but didnt want to phone them hereself and last week she wanted to go swimming, I didn't so she didnt bother and said "suppose Ill have to go on my own next week" and went in a mood over it.

I'm just getting sick of having to do everything myself, even my partner sits on his arse whilst I enquire, arrange and sort out things that he wants us to do and my ex was the same.

Am I being a whinge or would this annoy you too?

Don't do it anymore!
Just sort yourself and your children out, and leave everyone else to their own devices.
You're obviously not getting any thanks for being helpful, so do your own thing.

No you are enabling their behaviour by being a doormat

Just say "do it yourself" or "go on your own"
They will soon get the msg

(actually I do find saying "ok, and what time do you need me to come round and wipe your arse for you?" quite effective)

You have a clear choice- carry on as you are-or be assertive.

When people ask you to do something you don't want to do, just say very politely, "I am really sorry, but I can't manage that - I am really busy today".

Have you ever wondered WHY your friend wants you to go with her? Your friend sounds very lacking in confidence- why not offer to meet her and let her go along with you at a time that suits you on your terms?

If your Mum asks you to do something, just tell her that you are busy and you really need to share the arrangements with her- and would she please do XYZ.

You are allowing yourself to feel guilty when what you need to do is make people realise that you won't run after them etc etc.

There are some great books on assertiveness -and how to get what you want. I'd suggest a read of them- or there are articles on-line with lots of tips!

I used to drop things i had to do to do things for other people.
I was always thinking i did'nt want to upset people, so i would drop things i wanted to do, then have a moan about it.
Now i just say sorry but i am busy they soon get the message and don't ask any more.
When someone does asks me to do something for them i think to myself do i want to do it or not.
Then i decide wheather i don't mind doing it or yes i do mind, if i am going to moan about it then i don't do it.