What do you think

[Washedoutlady]

My DH and I really care for each other and have been together two years. Both of us came from long relationships. His DP was very abusive mine was very distant.
He can be very intensive and insecure and I've had to do lots of the reassurance he has ED too. When I look at myself I can be anxious and I have to learn how to deal with this. A right mix. I'm going through the menopause too.
I'm on a giant pedastal,
He never gets annoyed with me which I feel is unrealistic I feel if I get annoyed with him that I shouldn't and that I am the one who creates the conflict.
He is faultless most of the time we get along but like anyone he sometimes does some thoughtless things.
We are on holiday next week and we are going to talk about things. I can be hot headed so I thought I would write down my concerns let him read them and I cannot say anything and wait for his response and let him explain.
It's got to the stage where we either make it work or walk away from each other. I've realised this last week that I have alot of anxiety around the relationship so being aware of it is helpful.

Without knowing any specific issues, its hard to comment. Would you try couples counselling?

Sounds like you got married way, way too fast!

Have you done the Freedom Programme and had counselling? If not, recommend doing that.

Sorry he is my DP we don't live with each other. I think he needs counselling definetly. He was so needy and insecure when we met it was ridiculous.
He had a very controlling DP before me and although they have been split up for four years she still harasses him. He hasn't had any counseling whereas I have.
As an example on Christmas day she would give him a long list of things she wanted and if something wasn't right she would spend the rest of the day ranting and raving.
She phoned his daughter 140 times one night to try and talk to him. She's smashed doors and was physically and verbally abusive told him he was rubbish sexually.
I know it's v difficult to get an idea on here.
We do get on most of the time believe it or not but when we do fall out I feel as if it's always me that raises issues.
I've raised the fact that it's always me that gets upset and he says it's because I never do anything to upset him which in my mind is ridiculous. He doesn't do anything that's a deal breaker but how can you be in a relationship where there are never any issues?

There are issues but I mean any kind of conflict however small?

How his ex treated him is for him to work through. Not OK for him to behave in dysfunctional ways with you.