DP getting divorced, I'm worried about money

[MissStumble]

So this is a bit long and complicated, sorry! but the situation is making me feel sick with worry so I would really appreciate some support.

When I started dating DP he was separated, but still married. Definitely over, living in different counties and had no contact whatsoever since the split. She was emotionally abusing him (stopped him seeing friends and family; he hadn't spoken to his parents in 5 years, she convinced him he was too ill to work so he relied on her completely, constantly putting him down etc), so when he finally got out he moved in with his friend who lived in another county, as he had no money or assets to his name (he had rented with his wife, and he was on JSA).

A year later, we met and started dating. It was, and still is, amazing and I love him very much. He told me about still being married and said that, although it may seem cowardly, he couldn't face trying to get a divorce so was waiting for 5 years when he wouldn't need her consent. I wasn't a big fan of this, but understood why and just wanted to start our lives together. He's now back in contact with friends and family, and has a good job - he's put her EA behind him and moved on.

Fast forward a couple of years... we wanted to get a house and start a family, so about a year ago we got a mortgage on our lovely apartment, and we now have a 12 week old DS. I couldn't be happier.

However, it's coming up to 5 years since he separated, and so I've been looking into how to get divorced etc. I can't believe I was so stupid to not look at this stuff before, but I'm now panicking because of the financial settlement aspects.

I ignorantly thought that when you divorced, that was it. But having researched a bit, I can see that a financial settlement is separate. So now I'm worried that his wife will somehow have some claim on our apartment and savings?! Is this possible?

When they split, he took nothing, and they had no assets or savings, so we thought the divorce would be straight forward. We've both worked hard to make a good life for ourselves and DS, so I don't want that taken away because she decides to fight it.

I feel sick with worry, I just want to provide for my baby. I know in hindsight we should have waited until he divorced, but we just wanted to get on with our lives.

Would it help if we put the apartment in my name only? And all of our savings? Or are we screwed?

Can anyone offer some advice, or just some kind words to calm me down?

Thank you!

There are probably people on here more knowledgable about this than me, however I would say the best thing to do is make an appointment with a solicitor. There are still ones out there who offer the free half an hour (or some will offer an initial appointment for around £20). They can advise you better than anyone on here. Good luck though and I hope it all turns out ok

As they had no children and no shared assets and you two have bought the flat post seperation she shouldnt have any claim , i did my divorce from my ex online cost £590 it has taken quite a while to go through but cheaper than a solicitor doing it, my ex did have to sign the papers though

How much money are you talking about here? In equity and savings?

Yes she could very well have a claim on it. Does she know about his personal circumstances though? considering they parted ways 5 years ago?

You could put savings into your name I suppose but the transfer of money from one account to another will show up on a Form E if they use them and will raise questions. I doubt you can just simply removed his name from the mortgage though.

Thanks everyone.

I'm really hoping she wouldn't have any claim, and hopefully it'll be a quick online divorce

I doubt she knows about our life/circumstances, and equally we know nothing about hers, so hopefully she wouldn't even think there was anything to claim.

I was researching about the 'clean break order', which would be great, but I'm worried she won't sign it to be awkward. The whole point of waiting for 5 years separation was so she wouldn't need to consent to the divorce.

It's not much money or equity at all, just enough for us to live on. I guess it could equally work the other way that he would be able to claim on her assets, so maybe that will encourage her to sign. Obviously we don't want anything from her, just a quick divorce so we can move on.

Definitely going to seek legal advice.

The reason I ask is because if you've only just brought the house 12 months ago I can't imagine there is any equity at all in it. In fact, it may even have dropped in price. No equity means nothing goes to her.

Savings she could possibly get half of. Realistically though, if you've just brought a house and you've got a baby and are presumably on mat leave and your partner was unemployed up until a few years ago, I'd be very surprised if you had thousands in the bank, don't mean to offend you but just trying to gauge how much money there is and whether you are worrying too much.

And does she know he's a home-owner now, with savings?