Does a slow start ever get there in the end?

[exrrawhite]

Out of interest, does a slow start in a relationship ever get to speed up if that slowness is ongoing after a year?
Decisions are still being made on how and when the couple spend their time together by one party and that person is slow to commit and ages are mid thirties? Thanks

Nope, sounds like he just isnt that in to you.

Youre in the honeymoon period, both should be keen to confirm next seeing each other and excited to meet up.

DP and I were very casual for about two years - we’d go days without a phone call or text message (we still do, sometimes) and sometimes only knew what the other had been doing through mutual friends. The past year we’ve picked up a bit and are about to move in together. The timescale has suited us. We’ve just reached a different point in both our lives which happens to coincide with being open to a firmer relationship.

So the answer is yes, it can, sometimes. But that’s not really the answer you’re looking for, is it? If you want a deeper, traditional relationship and you want it now then you’re incompatible with somebody who is content to bimble along with no particular “escalator” plan or goal for a life together.

What areas are going slowly? What do you want out of the relationship? Maybe you need to address what you want and need to DP?

Usually at the start its like a whirlwind and you both have so much lust and want to do everything together, it dies down and then hobbies and interests take over but you do as much as possible together.

Ive never heard of a couple having a slow year. Unless he isnt into it fully and its just convenience?

None of us can tell you. Of course some slow starts will get there in the end, everyone's feelings develop differently - but you're not asking about anyone else are you, you're asking about your specific relationship.

None of us know the true dynamic or the intent from either one of you, unfortunately.

I'm just wondering really.
It's someone close to me. I despair to see her hanging around and wonder if she is a convenience. Theydo spend time together but on histerms always. She seems to be waiting but I'm thinking that in his mid thirties with no expression of commitment to move in or marry or have kids, Will she be dropped if a better option comes his way. I am many years older tham her and worry that her. Innocence and best years are being wasted.

There was never a whirlwind.
She hung in there even when he did not
Contact her for days and weeks at the beginning. It did improve and is better but despite living minutes apart, he still only calls round a couple of time's per week and leads a life like that of a single man.

She’s wasting her time. She will never be a priority and whilst she is always available to him on his terms he will continue with this behaviour. She needs to find someone who is excited to see her and prioritise her.

My current started off slow and things pick up. Remember , love and feelings are best reserved at first til they naturally build

Is he in another relationship, out of a messy relationship, have DC from a previous relationship or in a very demanding job? If he is not always available they would be the main reasons you see on here.

But did he prioritise your needs? I think it depends whether you are dealing with a selfish person or not. Selfishness does not change over time

Does he go out partying? Are they the same age? Does either of them have children? Do you think he is a commitment phobe?
It’s hard to see if they are on the same page and if she is happy seeing him only twice a week/do they spend this time well on nice dates with quality time? Personally I feel most women would want more and deserve more. Anything that is on one persons terms is not an equal or respectful relationship.

They are single. No kids. She is late tanneries. He is middle thirties. She likes the quiet life. He loves partying and the boys.no high pressure jobs between them.she adores him and has all her eggs in one basket while I think he has lots of eggs in lots of baskets.
Simply put if he proposed right now she would accept.Im a little concerned.

She deserves better

They don't sound compatible. I doubt he will propose if he limits their time together. How does the woman feel about the relationship? Is she concerned and spoken to the man about it? There's not a lot you can do if she's happy with things as they are.

She has told him what the future looks like for her but it is a year ahead of what it is for him meaning that he is not ready for big serious steps yet. She accepts what he said , because she loves him. I hope that his intentions are pure. His words are. His actions are not so much .

I dislike all the “she deserves better”, because it implies what she wants is the only right way to live. He’s just as entitled to like a busy social life and partying and a casual relationship as she is to want to settle down and be a home bird with a husband. Neither of them is wrong. It doesn’t sound as though he’s being dishonest with her - you say yourself he’s not offered commitment of marriage or kids, he isn’t spinning her a yarn to keep her keen.

But she still needs to end the relationship. Try to gently get her to see the futility of the situation. He possibly believes himself when he tells her that she’s a year ahead of him and that in a year or so he’ll want to settle down. Maybe he will. But there are absolutely no guarantees of it and she shouldn’t put her life on hold and wait for that year (which could turn into two, or three, or never) when what she really wants is commitment and to settle down as soon as possible. She needs to find somebody who wants that now, not try to change somebody who doesn’t.