Am I being over sensitive to a silly group chat?

[Caffienated]

I'm starting to feel like a third wheel in a friendship with two others...

They're lovely friends who live close by and we do a lot together. But I find one of these friends (Friend A, a lovely lady, not a parent) spends an awful lot of time worshipping our other friend (Friend B, who is a fabulous lady and fellow mum), constantly commenting in person and in our group chat on her super mum abilities and for being the 'strongest person she knows'... Here I am sidling along in the background feeling increasingly deflated that I am apparently not strong, a super mum or generally worth mentioning as I juggle a 3 year old , pregnancy, have spent the last year working full time and studying for a qualification in a new career and basically doing the best I can. Do I continue to suck it up and ignore how this makes me feel, or subtly distance myself from the friendship (which I value immensely) or risk looking incredibly whiny and oversensitive by saying something?

My hormones must be playing havoc as I just want to cry at the increasingly frequent comments that focus on friend B and are completely oblivious to my own parenting/life balance struggles.

OP I have a friend (not close imo) who is very like your Friend A. She’s someone I know via my job. She compliments me all the time, personally and professionally. It drives me absolutely mad. It’s very over the top. What she also does (less obviously) is put herself down. She puts on a show of being really happy and carefree but actually she’s not. She is full of anxiety and self esteem issues. She’s been through some horrific things. She makes poor choices in her personal life. This is why I don’t bite and just tolerate her quirks. I support her where I can whilst maintaining a boundary. I try to be careful with her. If she was a stronger person I’d just tell her to stop it. She’s a very kind soul really.

I had this situation. It was intense. I couldn’t understand why one of them was so besotted by the other. Until she declared her love and turns out she tried to go in for a snog one night. It may well be that she does actually have a full on girl crush. My advice, bit of distance. Don’t get caught up. Leave them to it. There could be all sorts going on behind the scenes that you know nothing about.

I am in a similar dynamic with a group of 3 of us. Really similar set up. Friend B and I are both parent of young children. Friend A has older children and is quite different to me and B. Group chats v similar - and in person really - A seems to be quite obsessive about B.

We have all been friends for a long time. It's always been the case. I've distanced myself from group chats, just contact them individually and leave them be to meet up alone. It was really dragging me down. I now see them occasionally as a 3 and we get on famously. More often than not I see them alone. It really made a difference. I now value their friendships and the differences between us all. I would go to A about some things, B about others, and they do the same. Yet we still all come together.

Distance yourself as a group, but embrace the lovely individual friendships you have for what they are, and enjoy the people for what you bring out in each other. If any of this makes sense...

Thanks a lot everyone, it's good to hear similar stories and advice. Both friends mean well, but I suspect distancing myself a little more is the best call.

If you value the friendship, I'd personally try to just ignore. Mute the group chat if it helps.
Accept that friend A is either sucking up to Friend B OR feels she needs that confidence boost for whatever reason. Whatever her reasons are though, it's no reflection on you. In situations like this it's easy to internalise things and make them about you, when really it's not.
You're taking the comments personally when actually they're nothing to do with you. She's not comparing you, she's just directing them at friend B.

Try not to take it to heart and get in the way of your friendship.

I know exactly how you feel. A friend/colleague and I went back to work after maternity leave around the same time. Friend got so many comments about being a yummy mummy (yeah I know but...) and I didn't rate a mention. Made me feel like the ugliest person on the planet. Friend was totally lovely though and never asked for it or made a fuss. Just makes you feel shit.

'I just want to cry at the increasingly frequent comments that focus on friend B and are completely oblivious to my own parenting/life balance struggles.'

There was another comment you made but I'm tired and can't track it down :( It seems as if you are generally finding life stressful. If it weren't for you finding life hard then the comments wouldn't bother you quite so much. The stress in your life is something you could try and reduce, regardless of what you decide about the friendship. xxx

Really don't lower yourself to some of the passive aggressive comments on here. I am cringing with embarrassment!!! Friend B possibly finds it a bit tiresome. Friend A IS a bit tiresome. I would sit back and be amused. This happened with friends. My friend A was male. He made it so abundantly clear that I was about 37th on his friend list. I am now childishly amused that friend B has grown tired of him, thinks he has a creepy crush on her (he so has) and can't be arsed to see him.... watch, wait, get popcorn. Sounds like B likes you. Don't spoil it with weird, needy comments!!!