I had a horrible childhood.
Abusive father and when I got married to DH his mother seemed to be the same personality as my father..
They’re both damaged from their childhood and I spend many years thinking I can fix them.
Until finally learning to put myself first and say no!
Time has passed since their blackmail and abuse and they’ve both asked me And DH big requests which will mean they will forever be in our lives and possibly invading our personal space.
I’m putting up resistance even though they’re old and fragile and me saying no is basically making them miserable as it’s their life dream..
I can’t stop feeling guilt for being the one to call that final shot and put an end to their dreams of being supported in their elderly age but I feel they did it to themselves by taking advantages of my forgiveness for so long and being so vile to me... until I learnt to stand on my own feet and I’m too scared to go backwards and get trapped in that dynamic again.
It’s hard because when I’m with them all I feel is anger at them imposing on my life and disrespecting me and undermining me in every way and when I’m low contact with them I feel guilt all the time.
Not sure what I’m looking for but perhaps some pointers as to how to manage my feelings of guilt.