Libido advice

[Sundae123]

My husband has lost all interest in sex. It started around 8 weeks ago when he lost his erection during. From then he has confided that he is just not feeling in the mood. He says he thinks it work stress related- he has recently been promoted and feels under a lot of pressure to perform every day recently. We are keeping communication open about it (although he would rather not and is very uncomfortable discussing it) and I want to help and be patient.

Selfishly I must admit it is taking a toll on my self esteem and I have doubts creep in that he doesn’t find me attractive anymore.

Has anyone experienced this or have any advice on how I can help?

Anybody?

Does he use porn?

Stress can be a huge libido killer. I think it's often misunderstood.
Hopefully it will return once things settle at work.

Would he consider seeing his GP?

I dont think this is that uncommon.

The best thing you can do for yourself is believe him - that it is stress related (If this seems plausable). Do not think its related to you, why would it be, he had loved having sex with you for however long...

Stress can have awful physical consequences, it would be best to focus on how to help his anxiety.

Re-review in a month or so.

It's only been a few weeks. If you were out of action for a similar length of time, what would you want?

Try to take the pressure off for a while, and just try to be affectionate without pushing for more.

I'd give him some more time to adapt and further down the line, if his interest doesn't start to come back, doctor etc. But it's only 8 weeks.

OP, as tempting as it is, stop making this about you.

Yes I have experience of this. My partner has been immensely stressed for a long time and has been struggling with this same issue. We were active daily and suddenly it just wasn’t happening which coincided with him being very unhappy at work. It also occurs if he is too hot, has had a bit too much to drink or is in pain (he has joint problems). It’s not uncommon and it’s good that your partner has acknowledged it.
Help wise, certainly don’t think it’s anything to do with you. I made that mistake and it made his problem worse as he felt he had to perform so I knew that he still found me attractive. Secondly if your partner is clamming up about it, don’t push the subject. In fact I stopped mentioning it at all and that helped a lot! I also started showing more affection without wanting it to lead to sex. A few more kisses and cuddling as eventually he would get kind of sexually frustrated and that would build up!!
My partner decided to have an online consultation with a doctor in the end because he didn’t want to see a doctor in person (out of embarrassment) and he is now taking Cialis 5mg daily.