Friend thinks more women are abusers then men - looking for stats or reports

[DontCallMeDaisy]

I ended up in a bit of a debate with a male friend/colleague a few days ago. It started out about the pay-gap and somehow DV came into it.

I very confidently stated that the overwhelming majority of domestic abuse is committed my men against women. He very confidently argued that that has been found to not be the case, that men have historically vastly under reported and that recently its been in the news that actually more incidents of domestic violence are perpetrated by women.

Neither of us could find the reports we were talking about.

Does anybody know of any reports or stats that back up what he is saying?

Who gives a fuck what he thinks.

I do agree that abuse from women towards men is vastly under reported. I also think it tends to be more low level. More emotional abuse such as controlling behaviour.

I dont think more men are abused by women, than women by men. Nowhere near. And it rarely results in serious physical harm or death

Its bullshit he's being ignorant
I would try womans aid.

Plus dont forget the severity of abuse of women by men is also far worse. 2 women die every week at the hands of their partners

.

that men have historically vastly under reported
Yes, fine so far

and that recently its been in the news that actually more incidents of domestic violence are perpetrated by women

Nope, absolute bollocks.

Recent report I saw (can't be arsed to find it now but it'll be out there) said something like 30% of victims male (mostly in same sex relationships) but vast majority of abusers still men. Something like 92%.

Even mankind doesn’t think that’s true...

www.mankind.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/35-Key-Facts-Male-Victims-March-2018.pdf

@ukgift2016 it's more curiosity and wanting to know for sure I know my own facts

@kit19 thanks that's really helpful
@Butterymuffin would like to find that one!

The bottom line is to check the number if women who've been killed by partners or ex partners versus the number of men - anywhere that had stats eg UK, USA.

I think there are many more neurotic women out there than men who lash out, belittle and drive a man insane with arguments or petty things. It causes a man to lose patience or to feel emasculated.

You clearly haven't read or absorbed the post after list after post on this board from women being belittled, harassed, harangued, got at etc about petty things every hour in this forum. It's all subjective but it seems to me the no of men who.dk this could not be less than the number of women.

But men express pain not through tears but through agression. When a man feels so emasculated he thinks that physical agression is the only way to overpower and make a woman stop.

That sounds awfully like excuses for male aggression and violence..noone had to be aggressive or violent; full stop but esp when its against a person lighter, smaller and with significantly less upper body strength than you.

@DontCallMeDaisy

This also makes very interesting reading

www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/the-one-in-three-claim-about-male-domestic-violence-victims-is-a-myth-20150429-1mw3bs.html

*noone has to be.

Exactly the same option is available to men as to women - walk away.

Oh sorry, correction .. men can walk.away and it's unlikely a woman could successfully obstruct him; the reverse is not true.

Office of national statistics gather data, using carefully crafted techniques to avoid under/over reporting

www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/bulletins/domesticabuseinenglandandwales/yearendingmarch2018

It's not totally clear as they report on victims, not the perpetrator and there is a likelyhood that some of the abuse of males is conducted by other men, but it clearly shows that women experience much more than men

and that recently its been in the news that actually more incidents of domestic violence are perpetrated by women
This is true that it's recently been in the news, doesn't make it factual though.
@Anessia
I think there are many more neurotic women out there than men who lash out, belittle and drive a man insane with arguments or petty things. It causes a man to lose patience or to feel emasculated. But men express pain not through tears but through agression. When a man feels so emasculated he thinks that physical agression is the only way to overpower and make a woman stop
Welcome to Mumsnet your misogyny may not fit in too well here.

Ok, got drawn into googling anyway. Here you go.

www.refuge.org.uk/our-work/forms-of-violence-and-abuse/domestic-violence/domestic-violence-the-facts/ The section here on 'The gendered nature of domestic violence'. Some stats are older than others.

However this paints a very similar picture
www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/domestic-abuse-is-a-gendered-crime/

The ONS 2018 statistics in the above source are close to what I mentioned earlier - I think these are what the article I remember reading drew on.

Key point:
"In the year ending March 2018 the large majority of defendants in domestic abuse-related prosecutions were men (92%), and the majority (66%) of victims were recorded as female (13% of victims were male and in 21% of prosecutions the sex of the victim was not recorded) (ONS, 2018)."

I don't think your friend will find any such reputable stats to support his ideas. However, as a pp said, don't tie yourself in knots over it - he sounds like he'd always come up with a reason to doubt what you say. Nevertheless, you are right.

Google Women's refuges near me

Then do the same for men

There's your answer.